Premier League football is back!
Yes, after the long summer without any football (well, except the Euros, the Olympic football and countless post and pre-season friendlies), the best league in the whole wide world returned to action today.
As usual it was a breathless start with goals, cards and plenty of awful Jeff Stelling puns to see us through.
But with so much action to sift through, we’ve picked out the most important bits so you don’t have to.
Here we go:
1. The champions lost… to Hull
Claudio, #LCFC are the first PL champions to lose their opening game. How did it happen? https://t.co/IADy9VkST6 https://t.co/l5YKpzWWMu
— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) August 13, 2016
Hull City have no manager, barely enough players to even put out an XI (they only named three subs today), and the fans are too busy getting protesting wrong to actually support the team.
And yet they went and beat the reigning Premier League champions in the first match of the season, with goals from Adama Diomande and Robert Snodgrass either side of a Riyad Mahrez penalty enough to seal all three points.
It’s also the first time ever the Premier League champs have lost on the opening day. And it led to everyone making the same joke about Leicester City’s chances this season.
First time the champions have been beaten on opening day in the Premier League era, first time in all since 1989-90.
— Miguel Delaney (@MiguelDelaney) August 13, 2016
2. And Vardy was so annoyed he punched himself in the face
Sums up Leicester's day today.pic.twitter.com/NTQvX9G05B
— Tifo Football (@TifoFootball_) August 13, 2016
No explanation needed on this one.
3. Two ex-Southampton managers cancel each other out
Ronald Koeman took over at Everton in the summer after leaving Southampton. The Dutchman had taken over from Maurico Pochettino at St Mary’s, who left two years ago for Tottenham.
Today they took each other on at Goodison in charge of their new sides. Ross Barkley gave the home side the lead before Erik Lamela equalised for Spurs.
4. #Pulisball is still a thing
 (Photo by Patrik Lundin/Getty Images)
Tony Pulis was back at his old club Crystal Palace today with West Brom. And the result was about as predictable as Arsenal’s summer transfer activity, with the Baggies nicking a 1-0 away win.
5. Eat your Hart out
Caballero starts in goal for @ManCity…
Guardiola: "He played very good in pre-season. I had to take a decision" pic.twitter.com/JCOmA9CSr2
— Premier League (@premierleague) August 13, 2016
Hart can get you a long way – but apparently not to the Premier League title. At least that’s what Pep Guardiola must think – the new Manchester City boss dropped England stopper Joe for their first game of the season at Sunderland.
Pep has clearly decided that Hart is not going to be his No 1, so the smart money is now on Hart to leave the Etihad before the transfer window closes.
6. The bigger they are…
Newcastle and Aston Villa are two of England’s biggest clubs, however you measure that nebulous metric. But the former are finding life in the second tier just as tough as they did in the Prem. Losing 2-1 to Huddersfield surely wasn’t what Rafa was expecting when he agreed to stay on as boss, but that’s exactly what he got today. That’s zero points from two games now for the Magpies.
Shock news for Villa fans though – winning football matches does happen. They turned over Rotherham 3-0 to get their season off and running. And only 189 days since their last win.
Aston Villa are winning a game of football. pic.twitter.com/zo3lyS6nri
— Coral (@Coral) August 13, 2016
7. Debut goals? No problem
There were goals for two debutants in the Premier League today.
Nathan Redmond proved money well spent for Southampton when he equalised for Saints in their 1-1 draw with Watford.
#SaintsFC goalscorer @NathanRedmond22 gives his reaction to today's 1-1 draw with #WatfordFC: https://t.co/C9oGhDnIT7
— Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) August 13, 2016
And Alvaro Negredo got off the mark on his first Middlesbrough appearance when he scored the opener in their 1-1 with Stoke.
8. Mike Dean has still got it
Dean has never been one for no-nonsense officiating; he needs more. Everyone will recall the time the 48-year-old accidentally wheeled away in celebration after Tottenham took the lead against Aston Villa last season.
Before a ball was even kicked in today’s opening fixture, the official was at it again. There’s just something about the way he takes the ball. If you know Mike Dean, you’ll know what we’re getting at.
https://twitter.com/CelebrityRefs/status/764425090561966080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
And then later in the game came this, the most sensationally extravagant advantage signal you’re likely to see this season from anyone other than the man himself.
https://twitter.com/Onefootball/status/764448780603097092?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Premier League full time results:
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