We’ve got an admission to make.
We always try to be as impartial as possible here at JOE, but sometimes our true colours shine through.
So it is with a heavy heart that we have to say yes, we are biased against your football team.
That angry email you sent us about unbalanced coverage. You know, the one where you sent us a spreadsheet showing we wrote 48 articles about your team and 49 about your rivals in a specific 28-day period.
The string of 16 tweets, all in block capitals, where you put our name at the end so that all 122 of your followers could see. You were right about that too.
It was all part of a plot to give your team the middle finger.
We thought we’d got away with it too, until your detective work. Hats off to you.
We’ve never liked your team, ever since that guy did that thing against our team for which we’ve never forgiven him.
That’s right, we all support the same team. That one you hate with a passion. The one who keeps signing those players who you thought were joining your team. Why can’t they get their own scouts? Now you’ve got to film a Vine of yourself burning the club shirt with sad music playing in the background, and make sure you’re on Twitter all day so you can share it as the first reply when your team announces the starting line-up for their next game.
And it gets worse.
As you probably suspected, not only are we biased against your team, but we’re biased in favour of all the others. Yes, especially that one.
That’s why we wrote that piece. That one too. And do you really think we were being impartial when we committed those sentences to print? Come off it.
All that’s left to say is: well done, you caught us.
