In these post-recession times, we’ve learned to be careful with our money.
While we might not quite be keeping tabs on every single penny, most of us will check the old bank account more than once a year, just to stave off the panic of a big fat zero staring you in the face.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t allow ourselves to splurge now and again, and there are a few things that every man will break the rules to spend big on…
Your best mate’s stag-do
You’ve had an expensive month so the next few weeks need to be a little cheaper. Out go the steaks and in comes the supermarket own-brand pasta and mince.
You’ve even had to turn down post-work pints because you know “just the one” always turns into six or seven.
But then you get a call from your mate Gavin. He’s getting married in six weeks and you’re organising the stag. Great.
Screw the budget, you’re off to Budapest for a week with 20 mates and getting on the lash. In fact, you’ve just opened your first beer to celebrate having such a great idea. Overdraft schmoverdraft.
First date
We all know that matching on Tinder is just the start – you need to live up to those elevated expectations.
Some might suggest that you shouldn’t have said you were a 6’4″ millionaire with a private island in the first place, but how many of those nay-sayers have dates of their own? Precisely.
So it’s time to pull out all the stops for the big first date. Champagne, lobster, the works. No longer have the six-pack you have in your profile pic from 2008? Simple: Buy one. Fast.
Who cares if you put more effort into this than you do for the second date, or the third date, or the ensuing relationship…
Following your football team
It’s the week before payday and you’ve smashed into the piggy bank to scrape together those last few pennies, but then you hear the Europa League draw.
Dinamo Zagreb away? You’ve never been to Croatia, and you’ve heard the nightlife out there is great – it would be rude not to.
“Hi, mum, can I borrow £200? It’s an emergency.” Works every time.
West Ham fans in Malta now pic.twitter.com/QJicKJ21co
— Il Calcio Inglese (@calcioinglese) July 23, 2015
New trainers
Your work outfit consists of the same suit and shoes you wore for your interview five years ago, with a back-up from Burton for those times you need something that properly fits.
If you need new work shoes you’ll wait until you can get a pair for £10 in the sale – if there are no holes in them then they’ll do the trick.
Yet somehow you’ll find £100 down the back of the sofa whenever the latest Nikes are out. After all, you need to make an impression on people who matter – no, not your colleagues, your mates down the pub.
Solid Gold Nikes!. This summers gona be Crazy! #GCP #Real6ixGods #FlemoPark #Heavy pic.twitter.com/NonBhJnaVN
— JB GCP (@JBZMUSIC) April 23, 2015
A big night out
This Friday’s going to be a quiet one. You’ve ordered a meat feast, got a two litre bottle of coke, chosen a mindless action film on Netflix and loaded up Football Manager on the laptop.
What’s that? Steve’s on the phone, asking if you want to go out? Darren’s just got a promotion so everyone’s heading for steak and then hitting a strip club.
Go on then, you say, you didn’t want to watch Sharknado again anyway…
