Day 8
Hard to believe it’s been eight days since I’m A Celeb 2018 kicked off. Not as hard as it is to believe that a microwave can cook a baked potato in five minutes, but still.
Last night’s episode saw Noel and Nick taking on the Bushtucker challenge, which involved the impossible task of two television presenters having to work together in total harmony, setting aside egos and personal grievances for the greater good. Just celebrities, living in the moment, not a cellphone in sight.
Then there was a live challenge which put the celebs through the horrific ordeal of having to share a stage together among themselves equally, but also eat and drink a bunch of gross things to remain relevant in these uncertain times.
It was another belter of an episode.
Here’s six hilarious moments you might’ve missed.
1. Harry Redknapp has been sizing up the celebrities’ footy credentials
Somebody, let’s be honest, it’s Harry Redknapp, has done the inevitable and placed his fellow campmates into footy formation due to an immense level of boredom and also because that’s the only thing he can really do. There’s an even spread on the board, but what I’m most interested in is the ‘Subs’ section at the bottom, where he’s put Ronaldo, Messi and Kane on the bench in favour of a Hollyoaks actor, an EastEnders actress, an X Factor contestants and Charlotte Hinchcliffe off The Inbetweeners, among others. This is an appalling decision. Harry Redknapp has lost his mind. Get him out of that jungle and into a padded room for a psychiatric evaluation, stat.
2. In explaining his and Nick’s Bushtucker trial, Noel drew them both as sperm
Sure, why not? We all came from sperm and we will return to it, kind of. Noel and Nick put in a valiant effort in their Bushtucker trial which involved blindly catching stars from a great height, kind of like a weird NASA mission that doesn’t really make sense but everyone supports it and believes that the nerds know what they’re doing. Rather than just telling the campmates that it was hard and therefore they only managed to get five stars, Noel really laboured the point with a detailed diagram, featuring himself and Nick as sperm. Harry’s football formation has been ruined in the process. Was it really worth it? No.
3. Holly revealed the post-Brexit price of a Freddo
Always keen to reflect the concerns of the nation, I’m A Celeb touched on an area very close to our hearts last night. They wanted to address fears over the price of a certain chocolate-shaped frog treat once Brexit comes into full effect, so quelled speculation with a definitive answer. As seen above, one Freddo will be expected to cost £130,000 GBP after Britain leaves the European Union. That’s an increase of £120,000 on their current price. Look, it’s an inconvenient truth, but it’s one that we all needed to hear. On tonight’s episode, they’ll reveal the price of Flumps and Animal Bars.
4. Harry Redknapp proved himself to be the worst thief of all time
Harry and Noel snuck into the I’m A Celeb emperor’s palace to steal some of their bed clothes because they fancied a little mischief and also a decent night’s sleep. Noel instructed Harry to sneak the pillow out of the palace, which he stuffed up his t-shirt. Excellent, nobody will catch on, Harry. You’ve done it. You’ve exposed yourself as the world’s shittest thief. Rule number two of pilfering is to seamlessly hide the items you’ve stolen. Rule number one is to be so rich that you’ve never had to steal anything in your life. Guess that explains it, actually. Never mind, as you were.
5. They have officially run out of Bushtucker trial ideas
I’m A Celeb has been on our screens for 18 series. Naturally, they’re going to run a bit dry on Bushtucker trial ideas. Last night, we experienced the full force of that drought as Emily and Malique were forced to put the entirety of their mouths on display while a bunch of bugs festered all over their appendages, all the while being subjected to a playlist of former X Factor contestants’ offerings, which was easily the worst aspect of the task. Things have officially gone too far. I did not need to know that Malique from Hollyoaks needs a dental checkup and that Emily Atack might have a root canal on the way.
6. Zayn Malik made an unexpected appearance in the jungle
Do you get it? Because he is a snake for leaving One Direction and ultimately leading to the demise of the band. Yes, I know it happened in 2015, but some people still aren’t over it. Look, I’m just trying to do my job here, appealing to the existing audience and hoping to draw in a younger fanbase. The teens are still angry about what Zayn did, and so they should be. There’s an uprising on the way, you can practically smell it. They’re coming, armed with accessorised pitchforks and Twitter profiles that somehow have 56k followers because Niall Horan once liked a reply they sent. Stay vigilant, we are at war.
Images via ITV
