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12th Feb 2017

Danny Dyer’s take on being a parent is faaaacking hilarious

"It's like borrowing a baby orangutang, and it just wants to eat and smash things up."

Rich Cooper

Everyone knows being a parent is tough. One can only begin to imagine what it’s like being Danny Dyer.

The two meet head-on in a new Channel 4 program Parenting for Idiots.

Actor and cultural icon Dyer appears in the second episode of the show, in which he doles out several nuggets of geezer insight into being a parent.

The  actor offers us his take on homework, building toys for the kids and the difference between having boys and girls. Coming from anyone else, this would be fairly tame and not that interesting.

But it’s not anyone else, it’s Danny Dyer, so prepare to have your nuts done in, you slags.

Some choice quotes include…

On having a child: “It’s like borrowing a baby orangutan, and it just wants to eat and smash things up.”

On having girls: “I was sick of having to try and put a bikini on a Barbie. Honestly, it’s graft mate.”

On homework: “She had homework once, it was like ‘Name seven magnets’. I was like ‘well, fridge magnet… er…'”

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Danny Dyer