Week 7 – Car Advertising.
It all kicked off last night on The Apprentice – the candidates fought to their death in an unexpected Hunger Games style task which saw them brutally murder each other in the hopes of being crowned the victor of £250k and Lord Sugar’s business phone number.
Just kidding, it was the usual combination of a relatively simple task mixed with an incessant supply of moaning, bitching and trying to manipulate others into the firing line.
Inevitably, an abundance of awkward things took place. Here’s eight of the cringest moments most of us curled our toes through.
1. Elizabeth looked like a frightened pensioner when she was rudely awoken by Anisa
Last week we were gifted with an accurate depiction of an early morning wakeup call courtesy of national treasure Elizabeth McKenna, and this week she didn’t let us down. Everything about her manner suggests that the world is a repugnant suck hole at 5am, from the unsteady leg placement and unnecessarily raised arm to her face visibly recoiling from the light, it’s basically art. Frankly, for the amount of work the candidates are going to actually carry out over the course of the day, it’s deeply unnecessary that they need to be woken so early.
2. An aerial view of the Dunton Technical Centre revealed that it’s shaped like a massive wang
The candidates were all summoned to meet Lord Sugar and his two snitches at the Dunton Technical Centre, where they were informed of their latest task – marketing and advertising a car. By the grace of none other than the Lord (God) himself, we were treated to an aerial view of the venue, which revealed that the premises had been designed by a fourteen year old boy. Thank you, The Apprentice, for keeping the nation’s spirits afloat in such challenging times.
3. The photographer, who willingly booked a job on The Apprentice, was impatient when the candidates started arguing
Listen buddy, if you’re going to willingly put yourself in the presence of a pack of vultures, don’t you dare put on a display of frustration when those vultures start to attack each other like rabid dogs. You and your perfectly maintained facial hair knew full well what you signed up for, so hamming it up for the viewers’ sake isn’t doing anyone any favours. This is unlikely to be the pinnacle of your career, so suck it up and take the dumb photos that these morons request.
4. The cameraman screwed James with this particular setup, which foretold the fate of his time as project manager
Of all the places for James to be positioned in to talk about his decision to film a TV advert in a fake Norman village, the cameraman chose the scene pictured above. It was likely a deliberate decision as it foretold the eventual outcome of James’ volunteering to be project manager on this particular task. There’s no use in pointing fingers, either way. Filming The Apprentice candidates all day is likely to be a laborious job. We all have to get our kicks somehow.
5. Jade used a clapperboard in front of a drone which is probably the most 2017 thing we’re ever likely to see on The Apprentice
Is this entirely necessary? I don’t know a huge amount about television production but this feels excessive. Drones typically don’t record audio so there’s no need to sync that up, and visually you could surely match it with a camera filming on the ground quite easily. Regardless, it was quite a sight to behold Jade awkwardly hunched over a drone using a clapperboard all in the name of advertising an ugly little rental car.
6. Sajan legitimately said “The mise en scene is perfect” in relation to their car advert that was being filmed in a fake Norman village
When they arrived on set, Sajan’s first reaction was to cough profusely due to his inhalation of smoke from the campfire, but he quickly turned things around as he transformed into a slightly less ambitious Martin Scorsese. After arranging a load of cocks on the grass (of the avian variety in this instance), he got to work on creating some jazzy camera angles to best disguise the shit show that was unfolding. ‘Mise en scene’ was a generous term for the scenery involved.
7. Elizabeth turned into a drunk girl at a club trying to get the DJ to play a song she heard in the taxi on the way in
When you’re half cut trying to get the DJ to play that song you heard in the taxi on the way in #TheApprentice pic.twitter.com/2rFJ41nNjX
— JOE.co.uk (@JOE_co_uk) November 15, 2017
She is the gift that keeps on giving and frankly, The Apprentice won’t be worth watching if (when) she gets sent home. Last week we got to see Elizabeth fulfil her apparent lifelong dream of being a brash tour guide around Bruges and this week, we were treated to Elizabeth’s artistic vision when it comes to making a TV advert for a car. Her fellow contestants may hate her, but at least she’s bringing a reliable source of laughter to the competition each week.
8. As we’ve come to expect, team Vitality looked like an advert for Specsavers in the boardroom yet again
Perhaps this is their tactic each week. They all sport their individual glasses which consist of varying degrees of nonsense in a bid to distract Lord Sugar from their ineptitude as a team. He’s so dazzled by their comical eyewear that he forgets to give them as tough a grilling as the other team. It’s a bold move and seems to be paying off. Eagle-eyed viewers may have spotted James wearing his designer glasses during the task this week as well, proving that truly, if you can’t beat them, you might as well join them.
All images via BBC
