Episode 8.
Just a quick reminder that whoever deemed this to be ‘The winter version of Love Island‘, you are a liar and I will never forgive you for wasting my time.
We’re now eight episodes deep into Survival of the Fittest and true to its name, the contestants are both surviving and proving themselves to be the fittest in all the land.
As with any reality TV series, there’s a sufficient amount of discomfort involved in the viewing process. Between the bickering, awkward flirting, searing hot banter and audible kissing, this show has it in spades.
Here’s five deeply uncomfortable moments I cringed my way through last night.
1. Georgia pepper sprayed one specific are of the tent for some reason?
It’s a brave tactic to keep the boys out of their sleeping quarters and it seemed to work wonders for the girls. Before bed, Georgia decided to pepper spray the middle of the tent’s roof, which repelled any potential intruders. Unwanted house guests are a worldwide pandemic, not just at home. Even though they’re in South Africa, these girls need to be vigilant in ensuring that people don’t feel welcome enough to pop round for a brew and a fistful of your best biscuits at any given moment. She’s a savvy girl, that Georgia.
2. It emerged that two of the contestants already knew each other
New guy Joel arrived into the lodge and was greeted by Sam, a girl that he’d been on a date with a few months previously. What can we take from this information? We’ve got two choices, we can believe that it means literally nothing and it’s all just a very big coincidence, or we can believe that the type of people that enter reality television shows all know each other because they are born in science labs, grown to suit one particular reality television show and then fast-tracked through the application process when entries open. Personally, I’m going with the latter.
3. It became apparent that the boys are all the exact same person
Someone has copied and pasted the prototype five times, resulting in six boys that are the exact same person both physically and mentally. With the exception of the guy that has a lot of tattoos, we are basically looking at a glitch in the Matrix here. Tanned, brown hair, varying degrees of facial hair and a hopeless expression reflecting the situation in which they’ve found themselves, these boys are six of a kind. Would it kill them to add a little spice into the mix? Maybe that ginger from Love Island who was obsessed with Camilla and always sunburned?
4. Warren confronted Lottie in a heartfelt outburst, but it was impossible to take him seriously because he looked like this
The man has a diverse range of non-prescription glasses, each pair more visually offensive than the first. So when Warren decided to confront Lottie over her lack of loyalty to him, it was virtually impossible to take his grievances on board when he looked like Bono (if Bono was a fuckboy). Warren’s look is an acquired taste and it’s hard to blame Lottie’s eyes from wandering when he dons such tragic eyewear. Maybe if he went for a simple look, such as no multicoloured glasses at any time whatsoever, Lottie would remain firmly by his side. Just a thought.
5. Whitmore seemed to question every single one of her life choices that has led her to this point when everyone starting arguing in front of her
Over the bridge came Laura, much to the disappointment of the contestants. She came bearing news, which involved the boys having to nominate two girls to leave. Things quickly became very tense as the girls had to state why they felt they deserved to remain in the lodge. As Lottie and Georgia (affectionately deemed “the two snakes”, by David) stated their case, they were met with rebuttals from both Warren and David. It descended into a big argument where everyone got very uncomfortable, Whitmore included. She did not have time for the bickering, she was simply there to impersonate Caroline Flack, showcase her unique style, deliver some bad news about the contestants and then leave. How dare they ruin her evening like that. How very dare they.
Images via ITV
