“I just don’t want to be necessarily known as the blowjob king of the world”
In a documentary that featured a man learning to fly a plane via Microsoft, models swimming with pigs, thousands of people being scammed out of their money, criminal proceedings, an island that Pablo Escobar once owned, the most depressing sandwich of all time, it’s almost impossible to isolate one story that defined the clusterfuck that was Fyre Festival.
However, after Netflix released a documentary on the infamous festival, viewers were left dwelling on one scene in particular.
You know what we’re talking about: Andy King’s revelation that he was prepared to perform oral sex in order to bypass customs regulations that had led to tankers of Evian water being detained.
In case you’re unaware of King’s predicament, Fyre’s event producer was fully prepared to “take one for the team” as the shit was about to hit the fan.
Without a reliable supply of water at the festival site, the Fyre organisers tried to acquire four 18-wheeler trucks packed with cases of bottled Evian water. However, these trucks were seized by customs officials because various fees had to be paid before they were released.
Customs required a cash payment of $175,000.
At this point, Billy McFarland (co-organiser) approached King with an extremely inappropriate proposition.
In King’s own words: “Billy called and said, ‘Andy, we need you to take one big thing for the team. And I said, ‘Oh my gosh, I’ve been taking something for the team every day’.”
“He said, ‘Well, you’re our wonderful gay leader and we need you to go down, will you suck dick to fix this water problem?’ And I said, ‘Billy, what?’ And he said, ‘Andy, if you will go down and suck Cunningham’s dick, who is the head of customs, and get him to clear all of the containers with water, you will save this festival,” added King.
Andy King has seen all of your FYRE Fest memes — and he loves them! pic.twitter.com/mCNgDoHpjW
— Netflix (@netflix) January 29, 2019
The event producer then revealed that he was actually willing to go through with this wildly inappropriate plan. Hell, King even showered and drove across the island, prepared to “take one for the team”.
Since this revelation was made public, people have had plenty to say and King has now responded to his newfound fame.
“I just don’t want to be necessarily known as the blowjob king of the world. I’m blown away with the response of the documentary. Completely blown away. I’m now a noun, a verb, an adjective. It’s mind-boggling,” he said.
The event promoter says that he had no idea he was trending around the world. King is also blissfully unaware that he’s now one of the internet’s most popular memes. He doesn’t even know what ‘meme’ means.
To his credit, King used his recent interview with Netflix to champion the GoFundMe campaign to reimburse the Bahamian workers who weren’t paid for their labour prior to the festival.
If Evian is ever looking for a new spokesman, we reckon they should give Andy King a call.
