Next week’s Corrie is going full Pat Phelan.
Big Pat Phelan, tormenter of the cobbles, is set to, well, torment the cobbles a bit more this week. As is his want.
Not only will he shoot someone, which is bad, obviously, but he will also bring the victim to the wedding between Michelle Connor and Robert Preston. Which is probably worse, actually. Nobody wants to see a corpse at a wedding other than Tim Burton.
Knowing Coronation Street, and knowing that guns don’t kill people, rappers do, it is unlikely that the character Pat shoots will actually die, but you never know.
There will then be a dramatic police standoff at the Bistro, the perfect place for a wedding rather than a church and even better place for a police standoff with an angry bald man. Will Pat make it out of the seemingly impossible situation?
I mean, yeah, probably.
In an earlier episode he will find himself bound and gagged in the builder’s store-yard like this was all about to get a bit Pulp Fiction. Again, Corrie being Corrie, Pat tries to weasel himself free by persuading young Jack Webster, who miraculously happens to show up, to set him loose on Weatherfield once more.
For the price of a tenner. That’s it.
Jack, mate. You need to learn the art of negotiation my friend. You had all the power and he had no bargaining position. You could have held out for much, much more, you little idiot.
Even better, you could have just not let the serial killer loose. That would have been cool, too.
Fortunately, Gary and Sarah return just in time to stop the young lad from untying the killer. Unfortunately, that’s when it all starts to go a bit pear shaped.
Coronation Street airs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays on ITV at 7.30pm and 8.30pm
