No prizes for guessing who comes out on top in the war criminal stakes
To celebrate the launch of the eighth and final season of Games of Thrones, the Australian Red Cross has analysed every episode of the last seven seasons to find out who the worst war criminal on the show is.
As in, they’ve literally weighed up each and every violation of the laws of war by the show’s characters – finding a staggering 103 separate war crimes in total.
Honestly, I was expecting it to be more.
According to the Red Cross, the laws “forbid acts like torture and inhuman treatment; protect hospitals, aid workers and cultural property; and limit weapons and tactics to avoid unnecessary suffering. Also known as international humanitarian (IHL) they’re laid out in the Geneva Conventions, which have been signed by every country on earth, and other international treaties. Red Cross has a legal mandate to promote and protect these laws.”
Here’s who came out worst when held up against real-world law.
Last place – Robb Stark
Robb Stark fares best of those ranked with only a single violation during almost four seasons on the show – the taking of hostages.
That being said, the Red Cross did otherwise have praise for his battlefield conduct, explaining: “He provided adequate care to detainees/prisoners of war and targeted only combatants. He also consistently provided impartial medical assistance to wounded soldiers on all sides of the conflict.”
Joint 6th place – Tyrion Lannister
Tyrion’s four violations are:
- Use of means or methods of warfare that inflict superfluous injury or unnecessary suffering
- Use of incendiary weapons against civilians, civilian objects, forest or other plant cover
- Sexual violence
- Perfidy
He is, however, again given praise by the Red Cross for dissuading Daenerys Targaryen from unleashing dragon fire on the entirety of King’s Landing, saving millions of lives in the process.
Joint 6th place – Tywin Lannister
Tyrion’s father, the fundamentally more evil Tywin Lannister, actually draws with his son in the war criminal rankings with four violations of his own.
Tywin’s crimes are:
- Slavery
- Make civilians not taking direct part in hostilities the object of attack
- Wilful killing of those who are hors de combat
- Wilful killing of those not participating in hostilities
Let’s be honest though, slavery is a litte bit fucking worse than perfidy isn’t it?
Joint 5th place – Walder Frey
Walder Frey, the character who betrays the Stark family at the Red Wedding, comes in joint fourth on the Red Cross list of war criminals thanks to five violations. His crimes are:
- Wilful killing of those not participating in hostilities
- Perfidy
- Wilful killing of those who are hors de combat
- Use of means or methods of warfare that inflict superfluous injury or unnecessary suffering
- Taking hostages
Joint 5th place: Euron Greyjoy
The most feared pirate in Westeros and King of the Iron Islands, Euron Greyjoy, joins Walder Frey as the joint fifth worst war criminal in the show. His five crimes are:
- Torture, cruel or inhuman treatment (x 2)
- Wilfully causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health of a protected person or those who are hors de combat
- Pillage
- Taking hostages
Joint 4th – Jon Snow
Perhaps the one true surprise on the list is the generally likeable (if a little sulky) Jon Snow, who narrowly misses a spot on the podium and a bronze medal. The former Lord Commander of the Night Watch’s six violations are:
- The use of child soldiers (x 4)
- Torture, cruel or inhuman treatment (x 2)
Joint 4th – The Sons of Harpy
An underground insurgency group rather than an individual this time with the Sons of Harpy, a group of former slave-owners opposing the rule of Daenerys over Meereen, who join Jon Snow in fourth with six violations.
- Wilful killing of those who are hors de combat
- Wilful killing of those who are not participating in hostilities
- Slavery
- Indiscriminate attack causing damage to civilian objects
- Indiscriminate attack causing death or injury to civilians
- Making civilians not taking direct part in hostilities the object of attack
Also joint 4th – The Night King
Obviously, the Night King and his massive army of the undead were going to be up there. Here are his six crimes:
- Slavery
- Use of child soldiers (x 2)
- Making civilians not taking direct part in hostilities the object of attack
- Making religious or cultural objects the object of attack
- Use of incendiary weapons against civilian objects
Tut tut Night King. We thought better of you.
Bronze Medal – Roose Bolton
Roose Bolton, the Lord of the Dreadfort and Head of House Bolton, takes the bronze medal thanks to his eight violations of the laws of war. His crimes are:
- Torture, cruel or inhuman treatment (x 3)
- Sexual violence
- Wilful killing of those not participating in hostilities
- Perfidy
- Wilful killing of those who are hors de combat
- Use of means or methods of warfare that inflict superfluous injury or unnecessary killing
Silver Medal – Daenerys Targaryen
Daenerys, despite all her freeing of slaves, was always going to fall foul of the Geneva Conventions thanks to her dragons and gradual assembling of a massive army with the intention of invading Westeros. Her 15 (fifteen!) violations are:
- Use of means or methods of warfare that inflict superfluous injury or unnecessary suffering, i.e. dragon fire (x 6)
- Passing judicial sentence/execution without previous judgement of a regularly constituted court (x 6)
- Torture, cruel or inhuman treatment
- Making civilian objects the object of attack
- Declaring no quarter
Gold Medal a.k.a. The Biggest War Criminal – Ramsay Bolton
In news that will come as a shock to absolutely no-one, the biggest, most horrible bastard in the entire show comes out on top as the absolute worst war criminal of the lot. Here are Ramsay Bolton’s 17 war crimes:
- Torture, cruel or inhuman treatment (x 6)
- Perfidy (x 4)
- Taking hostages
- Wilful killing of those who are hors de combat, such as injured soldiers or prisoners (x 2)
- Use of means or methods of warfare that inflict superfluous injury or unnecessary suffering
- Sexual violence, including rape, sexual slavery, enforced prostitution and enforced pregnancy (x 2)
- Making civilians not taking direct part in hostilities the object of attack
There you have it. Fortunately he was eaten by his own mistreated dogs. So there’s that at least to help us rest easy.
