Turns out one of the best things you can do to get your partner in the mood is give them a hug.
That’s a top recommendation from tantric sex coach Elena Angel, who explains that tantra is a lot more than a Sting-endorsed sexual superpower.
What it is, instead, is a collection of teachings and principles surrounding “energy and polarity [which] help to enhance attraction and enliven the ‘spark’ between partners”.
To Elena, good sex is a welcome side effect to certain types of tantric practice. More than a special move to prolong your orgasm to bring about many more in your partner, what tantra works on is improving your connection with that special someone and responding to their energy.
After all, you perform better at anything when you know what people around you are doing, and what they like.
Which brings us back to why a hug can be so effective. Elena says:
“There’s much to be said for connecting from the heart and feeling each other’s energy. Though this does not necessitate physical contact, hugs are great in this way and, in Tantric circles, you’ll notice they last a few minutes and involve slowing down, dropping into the body, being more present in the connection between the two people, conscious breathing and enhanced receptivity to whatever arises in the space of the hug, notably emotions and subtle energy sensations.”
That’s not to say a big hug is the be-all-and-end-all, instant win button to turning your partner on.
“Can a hug contribute to sexual arousal? Yes, but only if the energy is right and the connection is polarised,” says Elena. “Other feelings and qualities of connection may arise otherwise, not of a sexual nature. It can be tender, melting, warming, comforting, strengthening, accepting or in some other way enhancing of one’s state or mood.”
The key is to not have an end goal in sight. Key to tantra is building a ‘conscious touch’, a meditative quality that can turn the smallest bit of contact into something deeply rewarding for both you and your partner.
Take your time with things before you take your clothes off. Slow everything right down. Take deeper breaths, hold each other and make eye contact before, ahem, that.
As Elena explains:
“When you slow down, stay really present, receptive and pay attention to their body language and the signals you receive in your own body. You’ll know exactly what they need, when, where and how to touch them — every time, without them having to give you precise instructions the whole way through”
So there you have it. Hug it out, people.
Would you be interested in more tantric sex tips? Let us know by sending in your thoughts to hello@JOE.co.uk, or drop us a message on Facebook.
