This just in...
Slow news day? More like whoa news day.
Big things are happening in the little pockets of Britain. While the mainstream media handles the boring stuff like politics and global conflict, local newspapers are getting to the issues that matter most to the British people.
1. “Why did you call me a pirate, Miss?” “Because you arrrrrr.”
2. There’s something in the water in Hackney.
3. They probably deserved it.
4. Full investigation on pages 2 – 38
5. I thought they closed that place down.
6. So disrespectful.
7. Who you gonna call? Seriously, who do you call in this scenario?
8. Finally, some good news.
9. So much blood.
10. We’ve already got 100,000 signatures.
11. Big question: who won?
12. To the tune of ‘Panic’ by The Smiths.
13. A nation mourns.
14. Even heroes need saving sometimes.
15. It’s always in the last place you look.
16. That’s just a list of words.
17. The same pair?
18. Harsh. Elton was just trying to get some stuff off his chest.
19. Well, shit. Well, shit. *bwark* Well, shit.
20. The prisoner assured the judge he was only shoplifting.
21. They just couldn’t kick the rabbit.