JOE’s agony aunt Megan Barton-Hanson wants to help you get laid
The question: Hi Meg, it’s Paul. Since we’ve had a kid, me and the missus haven’t had sex in six years. I just want things to go back to the way they were. What do I do?
The answer: Thank you Paul. I feel like this is getting a bit on top, six years no sex – that’s a long time. You need to make time for each other and recognise the reasons why you did fall in love with each other. Date night is first, make her feel appreciated, make her feel loved. A lot of times people just go straight into the sex, it’s deeper than that, you want to reconnect with them. Whether it’s a massage, playing your favourite album and things will lead on from there.
But, I mean, that might not work for everyone and I appreciate that. I’ve never been in like a super long term relationship. I don’t have kids, so I can’t imagine the stress and how burnt out you must feel every day.
Also I feel like you need to think why’s my partner stressed, take off as much stress as you can and then maybe I think when you strip that back, you’ll have more time to connect with each other. When you’re in a relationship you kind of put the other person first. I think you need to think about yourself.
I’m a bit of a sex expert but maybe you need professional help. A therapist, couples therapy. I think so many couples are scared to get a therapist involved, because it’s kind of like admitting like ‘oh, there’s a problem’, but it’s not. A couples therapist would be great if that fails, a massage of a happy ending, maybe aggressively wanking around the house. I don’t know.
If you guys have been together for six years, you’ve got a kid together, that is like a friendship. It’s definitely worth working on. Obviously there’s a lot of love there. You just need to pull the band aid off, the awkward conversation might take 30 minutes, but imagine the hours of good sex you’re going to have after.
Have any dilemmas of your own? Send Megan your questions and concerns here. Ask her anything. Pour your soul out. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll get a shag at the weekend.
