If 2016 has taught us anything, it’s that any kind of public vote means trouble.
Don’t get us wrong – we’re not calling for the overthrow of democracy. It’s more that any polling situation in this calendar year – be it Brexit, the US election, X Factor, anything – has just resulted in a load of arguing and controversy.
If you ask the public for recommendations, rather than a simple yes or no, it can get even more farcical and inappropriate.
Who can forget the time we were asked to decide on a name for the new research vessel owned by the Natural Environment Research Council, and the public decreed that a vital scientific facility worth millions of pounds should be called ‘Boaty McBoatface’.
Of course that didn’t come to pass in the end. The powers that be instead plumped for the rather more stately ‘RRS Sir David Attenborough’ after the national treasure and Planet Earth II narrator. We assumed that was the end of such tomfoolery, but alas it’s not the case.
Oldham Council are very proud of their brand new gritter, and so they should be. The salt-rock dispenser will save hundreds of locals from sore arses and bruised egos during the winter months. So chuffed are they that in their infinite wisdom, they tweeted out a request for the public to name it.
We want you to name our new gritter, so send us your suggestions by 5pm on 30 Nov https://t.co/Az3uSHcuME pic.twitter.com/5ywR0shd8c
— Oldham Council (@OldhamCouncil) November 23, 2016
Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The public being the public, there was the predictable mix of corny, immature and decidedly ‘off-colour’ responses. We hate to say it, but Oldham Council really were asking for this. Here we go again…
"Gritty McGritterface" is the obvious choice…but bureaucrats being bureaucrats, we'll end up with "Sir David Attenborough" regardless. https://t.co/RrbrhJqjnl
— Etienne Maccario (@maccario) November 24, 2016
https://twitter.com/CosyFT/status/801702821926203392
https://twitter.com/bored_scientist/status/801700968941371392
Thawer Hird.
(Inspired by a suggestion below) https://t.co/jd6KIZ9oNk
— simon evans (@TheSimonEvans) November 24, 2016
Cliff Grittchard https://t.co/vdFHZ9dTFY
— GeorgeWeahsCousin (@WeahsCousin) November 23, 2016
https://twitter.com/wren154/status/801694877633413120
Grit Me With Your Rhythm Stick https://t.co/CRqJW4xtrV
— J Farrers (@Jfarrers) November 24, 2016
https://twitter.com/petehayman/status/801687098021576704
https://twitter.com/Inst_4_Studies/status/801549154149421060
https://twitter.com/Mwdsly/status/801537270981476352
https://twitter.com/HSV_Valiant/status/801556653334286341
Josef Gritzl https://t.co/a6VKp5lMpc
— Mnrrnt and 207 others (@Mnrrnt) November 23, 2016
Jimmy Gravel https://t.co/fXyOji3zoe
— . (@_Wash99) November 23, 2016
Shitter the gritter https://t.co/PWhFdazisG
— Andy (@andycmanutd1) November 23, 2016
https://twitter.com/GarethSoye/status/801561812449853440
