Is January the single worst month of the year?
It is, isn’t it? Nobody likes January. It is nothing more than December’s hangover, a month where everyone is a) cold, b) poor and worst of all, c) briefly attempting to better themselves as human beings. Scrap it, in my opinion. Make December longer and then just skip to February. That would be loads better. But how would that work with regard to the Gregorian calendar, which we have been using for over 400 years, I hear you ask? I don’t know. I have literally no idea. You figure it out. Time is but a construct. According to the Ethiopian calendar, it is still 2012 and won’t become 2013 until September. Meanwhile, the Buddhist calendar makes it 2564. Who cares. It’s all just made up anyway. Which means: eradicate January. Wipe it.
Do I have a point with all this? No, I don’t actually, but I have managed to fill up the bit before the Pub Quiz that nobody reads with a ridiculous polemic against the month of January. The good news, however, is that very much like this intro, January will all be over soon.
Enjoy the quiz and remember: January sucks, calendars are nonsense and, most importantly, you won’t ever rid yourself of your worst characteristics by making New Year’s resolutions so. just. stop. trying.
