There’s a huge weekend of Premier League action ahead, so we’ve picked the big storylines you’ll need to look out for. No need to thank us…
1. A comparison between Sherwood and Pochettino’s win percentages
The People’s Gaffer is back at the Lane on Saturday with a point to prove following his exit last summer.
Tim Sherwood’s banter-filled 59%Â win ratio at Spurs was, as you should know by now, second to none.
But expect his fans in the media to remind us all of that again, despite Mauricio Pochettino clearly being a better manager.
2. Roberto Martinez is back where it all began…
…And he might wonder why he left in the first place.
If Swansea beat Everton at the Liberty Stadium in the the early Saturday kick-off, they’ll go 12 points clear of Martinez’s strugglers, leaving Bobby in a bit of embarrassing predicament.
Garry Monk, on the other hand, has enjoyed an impressive first full season as a manager. Would he get more credit if his name ended in ‘i’ or ‘o’? Or ‘ez’?
3. Roof netting to be installed at Upton Park
Stoke are in town for the Premier League’s ‘playing the percentages’ derby. Hopefully the ball boys have been in extra training to retrieve all the long balls that fly out of play.
After a gruelling 90 minutes we can all look forward to Sam Allardyce and Mark Hughes criticising each other’s tactics – with the team who try to play the most football probably ending up losing.
4. Someone will p*ss off Nigel Pearson
Is this the weekend Angry Nige will finally crack completely? We hope so.
5. Arsenal’s credentials face acid test
Arsenal’s trip to Burnley on Saturday should prove if Arsene Wenger’s men really can compete with Chelsea or not.
It’s alright doing it with a swagger at home to weaker sides like Liverpool (snigger), but can this Arsenal team do it at Turf Moor on a Saturday evening under physical and mental scrutiny?
This is the sort of game that wins you titles – so expect Arsenal to leave with a point at most.
6. A comparison between Sherwood and Pochettino’s win percentages
Because once won’t be enough.
7. Tony Pulis will inform us that set pieces are crucial
West Brom host Leicester in a Midlands derby and, having been humbled by QPR last week, the Baggies are under extra pressure to get a result. It will be tight, it won’t be pretty, and we can all look forward to Tony Pulis boasting the benefits of his set-piece routines come the full-time whistle.
8. Someone to point out that Van Gaal takes fewer risks than Fergie
Is there so much wrong with ‘controlled’ performances when Van Gaal’s ‘philosophy’ could secure second place? We’re getting a bit sick of hearing the Dutchman needs to get his team playing in the ‘United way’.
9. The Manchester derby will decide Manuel Pellegrini’s future
Lose, and the Chilean might as well pack his bags on Sunday evening.
With talk of City’s hierarchy moving for Pep Guardiola in the summer, it already looks like Pellegrini’s days are numbers. An embarrassing defeat to United in the ‘race for second’ would rub salt in the wounds.
10. Wayne Rooney’s overhead kick might get shown
Again, and again, and again.
11. Jose Mourinho to storm out of his press conference
Chelsea will edge out QPR 2-1 and look to have the league sewn up before watching City and United tear strips out of each other on Sunday.
But the R’s late consolation wasn’t to Mourinho’s liking, and he’ll blast that no-one wants his little horse to win the title. He’ll then flip the table, toss his head back in disgust and flounce out of the press room in indignation. Poor Jose.
12. THAT Liverpool and Newcastle game
Anfield. 1996. 4-3. Keegan slumped over the advertising boards.
Don’t worry if you’ve forgotten the mental scenes from that classic game, because we’ll be slapped silly with re-runs in the build-up to Monday’s fixture.
Sky Sports News will no doubt conduct a tedious poll asking if it was the GREATEST GAME EVER, while Brendan Rodgers will probably talk about it wistfully as though he was managing Liverpool at the time.
