Many Manchester United fans believed that Jose Mourinho was the man to lift the club out of the David Moyes nuclear winter in which its been in since 2013.
Although it’s still relatively early in his tenure to start writing him off completely, the 4-0 spanking he received on his return to Chelsea on Sunday afternoon has prompted many to question whether he is the right man to lead them forward.
But fear not, Jose. Because you’ve never really done anything of note in your managerial career, we here at JOE have drawn up a quick list of things for you to consider doing to help change Manchester United’s fortunes. Have a read.
1. Start calling Chris Smalling ‘Mike’ again
In his early years at Old Trafford, Chris Smalling didn’t do much to convince anyone that he was worthy enough to be one of the heirs to Nemanja Vidic’s and Rio Ferdinand’s central defensive thrones. Charging around in what seemed to be a pair of oversized boots, inadvertently smashing the simplest of five yard passes to Darren Fletcher straight into Phil Jones’ gurning face, there was little to suggest he was destined to become a mainstay in the United backline.
But when Louis van Gaal arrived, Smalling – renamed ‘Mike’ by the Dutchman – blossomed into one of United’s most consistent performers. Sure, he was still capable of the odd silly sending off (see the ones in the Manchester derby and last season’s FA Cup Final), but he looked an all round more composed player in those two years, unbeatable in the air and excellent positionally.
Now back to being called ‘Chris’ under Mourinho, Smalling has looked shaky again. On Sunday, he was indecisive and as much to blame as anyone in the defensive clusterfuck that led to Pedro’s opener. He also made N’Golo Kante look like Lionel Messi for Chelsea’s fourth goal.
If United are to be anywhere near a top four place at the end of the season, Mourinho needs to pay close attention to why Smalling isn’t playing like the player he’s been in the last couple of seasons – especially with Eric Bailly’s injury likely to keep him out for the foreseeable future.
2. Clear out the deadwood
Make no mistake about it, for all the money invested in this current United squad, there’s still many players on the club’s payroll that need to be moved on.
Perhaps a loan move for the likes of Memphis Depay might be enough to breathe new life into a once promising career, but others – Marcos Rojo and Matteo Darmian for example – need to be shown the door for good.
History shows that Mourinho has always preferred to use squads made up of two players for every position. Currently, United have several players that appear to fit in where needed instead of being masters in a specific area on the pitch.
A more streamlined squad made up of players that are designated to a specific position would benefit United enormously.
3. Realise that Marouane Fellaini is not Lothar Matthäus with an afro
Three years on from being the first of David Moyes’s two Galactico signings, Marouane Fellaini is somehow still a Manchester United player.
His best football at the club has come when deployed by Van Gaal as a battering ram of a number ten towards the end of 2014/15. Despite this, he’s been given free rein by both he and Mourinho to elbow-plough his way through many matches in a defensive midfield role.
Clearly, his size makes him a real physical presence in the middle of the park but, sadly for the big Belgian, his inability to pass a ball accurately means that on too many occasions he’s been completely out of his depth as a midfielder.
Sooner or later Mourinho will have to spend another £90m on an actual defensive midfielder and accept that Fellaini isn’t up to the job.
In the mean time…
4. Play nearly-retired Michael Carrick more often
Although they’ve spent a fortune on midfielders over the last couple of years, the fact remains that 35-year-old Michael Carrick is *still* one of their better performers in the middle of the park.
His weary legs may not cover the ground they once did, but with the more dynamic Ander Herrera and Paul Pogba alongside him, his calmness on the ball and ability to pick a pass from deep could still be of huge benefit to United.
He’s not going to be able to play every match, but as a short-term fix, Mourinho would be daft not to consider him.
5. Get Henrikh Mkhitaryan playing. Soon.
It wasn’t *just* that he was playing in the one-horse race French league that allowed Zlatan Ibrahimovic to bang in 50-odd goals a week last season. He also benefited from playing alongside quick, technical players that were able to lay on chance after chance for him.
Presumably, this is why Jose Mourinho was so eager to bring in Henrikh Mkhitaryan over the summer. However, one nightmarish 45 minute showing in the Manchester derby aside, we’ve not really seen much of the Armenian since he arrived from Borussia Dortmund.
While we’re led to believe it’s a fitness matter that’s keeping him out, the addition of a fully fit and firing Mkhitaryan will add a side to United we’ve yet to see under Mourinho.
While most of the focus may be on the defence following the Chelsea defeat, let’s not forget that they were also pretty toothless in attack. Mkhitaryan could make a big difference to this.
6. Drop Zlatan Ibrahimovic once in a while.
As good as he was in his opening matches, Zlatan’s goals have dried up in recent weeks and aside from spurning glorious chances against Liverpool and Chelsea, the Swede offered very little in the two matches.
As much as he’s a handful for defenders, perhaps it could be time to try the pace of Anthony Martial or Marcus Rashford from a more central area in the weeks ahead. A bit of variety in United’s attacking approach certainly can’t harm them, can it?
You can catch up on the latest episode of JOE’s Football Friday Live right here…
