Sometimes you need to cut something off at the source, or else risk it spreading uncontrollably.
It’s the case with the alien life-form in every futuristic horror movie ever made, and it’s the case with football’s weird penchant for half-and-half scarves.
The costs outweigh the benefits, and for every lower-league or non-league fan celebrating a once-in-a-lifetime meeting with a Premier League club, there’s another person who takes it too far.
Without half-and-half scarves, would we have ever reached the stage where someone considered this acceptable?
https://twitter.com/Gooners_Doy89/status/489662632685604864
Or this
This should NEVER be allowed #UCLfinal pic.twitter.com/9CEPWqJaEq
— Max Bentley (@MaxBentley1) June 5, 2015
And while this isn’t exactly part of the half-and-half canon, we’re pretty sure it wouldn’t have been allowed to exist in a less forgiving environment.
@Cameron_QPR found something as bad as that merterscielny shirt: pic.twitter.com/RaVTzEKJUG
— Chris (@crubba) July 20, 2014
Feyenoord are taking on Manchester United in the Europa League group stage tonight, and to mark the occasion they’ve decided the half-and-half scarf is a bit too garish. Too extravagant. Too visible.
But not to worry – they have a solution.
A JOE reader, known only as Gareth, alerted us to the fact that the Rotterdam club have come up with something which is simultaneously classier and infinitely worse.
Presenting the half-and-half sweater. The. Half. And. Half. Sweater.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKSR9kKA_7K/?taken-by=feyenoord.rotterdam&hl=en
Now don’t get us wrong, it looks like a nice sweater. The red is bright but not too bright, and it feels like it would keep you warm in the often unforgiving Dutch winter.
But two badges side by side? You might as well postpone the game and give both clubs a rosette for taking part.
Imagine buying this, seeing your team lose 7-0, and then being reminded of the result every time you open your wardrobe.
Still, we were probably fools to expect any better from a club that didn’t immediately fire Dirk Kuyt for dabbing.
Feyenoord? More like Feye-them directly into the sun.
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