“Shut your noise you fucking old c***” – Alan Pardew
In the world of football we’re blessed with eloquent managers. Real charismatic wordsmiths who can eke out profound sentence after sentence, each one wiser than the last.
To celebrate the fact, I have designed this simple quiz. All you have to do is match the quote I give you with either the continental philosopher or football manager who first uttered it.
Who said it? Was it Martin Heidegger or Steve Bruce? Nietzsche or Keegan? René Descartes or Alan Pardew? Friends, let us all find out, together.
“Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me”
Correct!
Wrong!
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“I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think."
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Wrong!
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“A man with new ideas is a madman, until his ideas triumph.”
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"Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark."
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"Some people cannot see a priest on a mountain of sugar."
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“He who thinks great thoughts, often makes great errors.”
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"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do."
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"Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home."
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"I strive to live with passion and not to be desensitised to life. Things matter to me. You’ve got to live like that. Otherwise what’s the point?"
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"Sometimes words are harder than blows."
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"I write like a two-year-old and I can't spell."
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“I can control my passions and emotions if I can understand their nature."
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"The world is everything that is the case."
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"You have to know, when there is a fire in the kitchen, when to flood that fire."
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"I am in a lot of pain. They say it is more pain than when you have a baby but I don't know as I have not had one. It is not possible."
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"We are in a world that is quite extremist and extremism makes more noise. Normality does not sell."
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“Entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily.”
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“No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience.”
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"Even though two and two might look like four, it could be three or five."
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“Man is a bridge, not an end.”
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"You feel vulnerable when you hear things that are not being said."
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"I only show emotion at home, and in my bed."
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“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
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“I don’t know why we are here, but I’m pretty sure it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.”
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"I don't read books."
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"Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon."
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"I think we are all frightened a little bit when a new broom starts to sweep."
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"You cannot afford to rely on history, you have to make it."
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"I’ve always said that you can live without water for many days, but you can’t live for a second without hope."
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"If you don’t know the answer to that question then I think you are an ostrich. Your head must be in the sand. Is your head in the sand? Are you flexible enough to get your head in the sand? My suspicion would be no."
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"There are scientists who will tell you that spirit, because it can’t be measured, doesn’t exist. It does exist."
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"We don't destroy our heroes today when we worshipped them yesterday."
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“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.”
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"You always have a gun to your head. It's a question of whether there is a bullet in the barrel."
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"They love me for what I'm not. They hate me for what I am."
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