The football calendar is coming to an end and the joys of the transfer season will soon be upon us.
This is a time of year we all look forward to – whether it’s the smell of grilled transfers in the air, young transfers walking hand-in-hand down the street or transfer bees pollinating flowers of speculation – it is a time of celebration and community.
Pep tucks into transfer pie
While clubs usually afford us a week or so to acclimatise to the new surroundings, Manchester City have done away with such niceties this year, taking an early and potentially unassailable lead.
The club, currently being managed by the transfer tactician Pep Guardiola, have already secured the services of AS Monaco’s Bernardo Silva.
The trickster is perhaps best known for the six times you saw him playing in the Champions League this season and is famed for his ability to make you occasionally look up from your phone after being unable to think of anything funny to tweet.
Silva’s signing looks set to be followed by that of Ederson, someone we all definitely knew about before yesterday.
The 23-year-old has an impressive 35 league games under his belt for Benfica, one for each of the millions Manchester City are set to hand over for him.
And while some have questioned the credentials of the uncapped Brazilian, others believe he is an upgrade on City’s current goalkeepers on account of him being in possession of four working limbs and not being called Joe Hart.
A cryptic message from Griezmann?
On the other side of the city, Manchester United continue to be linked with Atletico Madrid forward and part-time mobile phone salesman Antoine Griezmann.
Rumours went into overdrive last week after the Frenchman claimed that he had a 6/10 chance of joining the Premier League club during a television interview.
Griezmann’s most recent act – burning the words “PLEASE SIGN ME” into grass in Mourinho’s garden – is unlikely to halt further speculation.
Despite the seemingly clear message, some have questioned its intention.
Was it a come and get me plea? Was it actually burned into the grass by an impatient and commission-starved Jorge Mendes? Or was Griezmann simply trying to use his limited English to request Mourinho sing to him? Only time will tell.
Happenings on the continent
In Spain, Real Madrid have made the largest signing of the window with their £40 million acquisition of 16-year-old Flamengo star Vinicius Junior.
The youngster, who is no relation to Vinicius Senior, will stay at the Brazilian giants for at least another year; after which it is possible he could link up with current Madrid superstar Martin Odegaard.
Barcelona meanwhile have also been active this summer, making their first signing of the window in the form of renowned tax lawyer Marcus Olazabal.
The club’s president Josep Maria Bartomeu has expressed excitement at the signing, insisting that Olazabal’s skill and crafty work ethic will be a vital asset for years to come.
And finally…
In non-footballing news, radio talker and Jesus Christ to victims of censorship Katie Hopkins left her position at LBC last week. Alan Curbishley is currently a 10/1 favourite to replace her.
