Welcome to JOE’s Transfer Digest, your morning round up of the transfer stories of the day.
Today is a day of yet further speculation, so let’s dig in and feast on the sinewy transfer within.
Alli pulls out all the stops for Dier
Tottenham Hotspur star Dele Alli has responded to rumours that fellow player and BFF Eric Dier is contemplating a move to Manchester United by turning up at his teammate’s house in a bid to convince him to stay.
Dier, who played regularly for Spurs last season, is reportedly a primary target for Jose Mourinho in his search for a centre-midfielder.
Upon hearing the news that his mate might be leaving, sources say Alli drove to Dier’s house to remind him of all the times they’d had together, and how crazy he would be to let that go.
According to sources who witnessed the gesture, Alli silently held up a number of large cards outside of Dier’s home containing messages including “What About The Handshakes?” and “They Don’t Understand You Like I Do”.
While Dier is said to have been left moved and conflicted by the gesture, those close to the deal say that Red Devils attacker Jesse Lingard is attempting to coerce his compatriot into joining.
Lingard’s main motivation is reportedly not any great desire to play alongside Dier, but instead to make Paul Pogba jealous.
Man Utd to sign Ivan Perisic despite your tweets to the club
According to media reports today, Manchester United are on the verge of signing Inter Milan and Croatia forward Ivan Perisic, despite your persistent and oft-times threatening tweets to the club warning them against it.
A host of publications revealed today that the Premier League side could confirm the deal before the end of the week, with the club hierarchy taking into account but eventually discounting your daily messages to them.
“Ivan is a player who has a lot of the qualities we want. Of course, we weighed these qualities up against your messages telling us to “SIGN ANYONE ELSE” and to “Fuck off and get your heads right” but, after much consideration, we have opted to acquire the player,” said a club source, who also stressed that despite the decision, they remain keen to be sworn at by you every day on social media.
Clearly drunk Barcelona continue pursuit of Paulinho
In an ongoing transfer saga officials of Guangzhou Evergrande say is “sad and embarrassing”, a clearly drunk Barcelona are continuing their pursuit of Paulinho.
The La Liga side, which sources say must have had about 15 drinks at this stage, are planning a second bid for the Brazilian midfielder, who has spent the last two seasons in the Chinese Super League.
Their pursuit of the former Tottenham man comes despite repeated warnings from their friends that they shouldn’t make such decisions while pissed off their head.
After having their first bid rejected by the Chinese champions, Barca are expected to return with an improved bid after having one more drink.
