There are few things more enjoyable in football than a proper, old-fashioned s**thouse, and Sergio Ramos certainly satisfies the requirements.
A dirty, snidey, snivelling competitor, the 29-year-old is Manchester United supporters’ unofficial motto – “not arrogant, just better” – personified.
A relentless winner who will stop at nothing to get his hands on the prize, Ramos possesses all the attributes to add bite to Louis van Gaal’s bark at May’s end of season awards dinner, and would be a snip at the reported fee of £28.6m.
While the staggering £160m investment at Old Trafford last summer fleshed out a playing squad fraught with anxieties following Sir Alex Ferguson’s departure and the unqualified failure of David Moyes, it has taken time for personalities to appear on the pitch.
Ander Herrera, Marcos Rojo and Daley Blind all asserted themselves at intervals throughout the campaign, but much more should be expected of £87m duo Angel di Maria and Luke Shaw, while the less said about Radamel Falcao, the better.
With Ramos, fighting spirit is guaranteed, much in the same way his former La Liga sparring partner Diego Costa settled into Premier League life at Chelsea.
There is no doubt the defender would relish the individual battles that frequently have a huge bearing on the title race, setting the example for Chris Smalling and Phil Jones to follow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=28&v=5yUik1lNb88
One of the most enjoyable aspects of Ramos’ antics is the sheer gratuitousness of his conduct on occasion.
There may be a point to play-acting and provocation, but a disciplinary record of 157 yellow cards and 19 reds in the last ten seasons suggests the line is merely speck in the Spaniard’s rear-view mirror.
But having someone who is prepared to push the boundaries encourages others to follow suit, while it would be remiss to simply define Ramos as a bastard.
Fulfilling his role with poise and panache, a glittering honours list with Real Madrid and Spain provides all the motivation United need in their pursuit of one of the finest defenders in a generation.
It appears Van Gaal is getting his balls out again, this time metaphorically rather than literally.
Along with Ramos, the addition of Morgan Schneiderlin would add long-awaited backbone to United’s midfield, while even the cherubic Memphis Depay has form for betraying football’s…sensibilities.
Dutch scout Henk Grim has revealed how he refused to give the 21-year-old a rating higher than 5.6 out of 10 across a range of qualities because of Depay’s supposed personality flaws.
“It is only because of the fact that I could not go any lower than zero out of 10, otherwise I would have rated him well below that,” said Grim recently.
“It was absolutely disgusting, the foul language that boy used towards his fellow players and towards people in the crowd.”
That won’t concern United fans though, and even the most pessimistic supporters would struggle to convince themselves that Ramos’ penchant for suspension is in any way a deterrent to a deal – at least no more so than the bitter blow of expediting David de Gea’s move in the opposite direction.
Instead, minds will wander back to the sort of moments United desperately hope to experience again next season, such as that late, late header to level the score against Atletico Madrid in the 2014 Champions League final.
Of course, Ramos picked up the earliest booking of the evening, walking a tightrope from the 27th minute until the 120th.
But the man of the match was there when it mattered, and Van Gaal knows it could be the same for United should he be successful in his game-changing acquisition.
