Paris St-Germain pose for a team photo ahead of their game with Barcelona. Thiago Silva (back, left) remembers he’s not set First Dates to series record. Will his missus remember to record it for him? Will she f*ck…
Bayern’s Dante has had just about enough of Porto’s Jackson Martinez whispering extracts from the epic poem Divine Comedy at him throughout the game. Jerome Boateng finds the cultural reference refreshing…
Neymar is keen to highlight the increasing problem of child obesity in his native Brazil. Latest figures show 51% of country’s population are overweight and one in three children age five to nine is overweight…
The lads keep saying they can smell fish. Of course suspicions immediately turn to Larry ‘cos he’s well filthy. Larry takes a step away from the gang to double-check if it’s him. Guess what? Guilty. As. Charged.
Bayern’s Thomas Müller is a diehard Westlife fan and loves belting out ‘I Have A Dream’. He especially loves the key-change and is pictured using Porto’s Alex Sandro as an impromptu stool to vacate for the big finale…
Barca’s Luis Suarez went swimming before the game but didn’t realise the lake was full of leaches. One has attached itself to his Brendan and Gerard Pique is doing his level best to remove the stubborn blighter…
Ref Carlos Velasco Carballo has managed to get a number off that cute redhead he was chatting to at the party. He’s getting conflicting advice on how long to wait before texting her. Ignore them Carlos – follow your heart…
Bayern’s Pep Guardiola is a big Partridge fan and he’s reenacting the ‘Dan!’ scene by shouting ‘Manuel’ repeatedly at Neuer. Sadly the attentive keeper responds to the calls and Porto score. Totally worth it, Pep secretly thinks…
