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05th Dec 2016

Scarlett Moffatt’s fear of lifts is the biggest conspiracy of the last century

There's just one small problem here.

Tom Victor

Forget Hillary Clinton’s emails, forget JFK’s assassination, forget the moon landings – this is the real conspiracy theory.

Wait, you thought political scandal was more important than a reality TV star’s phobia of enclosed spaces? Wake up, sheeple!

In case you hadn’t heard, Gogglebox’s Scarlett Moffatt is the new queen of the jungle after winning the popular vote against Joel Dommett and Adam Thomas.

But cracks have started to appear, with viewers claiming the vote was rigged. And like all good conspiracy theories, there’s no actual evidence, just a very strong feeling.

Not so with the second string to the bizarre ‘trust no one’ bow, however.

Allow us to lay the foundations.

Moffatt claims to suffer from claustrophobia to the point that she prefers to walk up multiple flights of stairs rather than take a lift.

Fairly vanilla, you’ll probably agree.

But wait. Here’s the smoking gun. The reality TV star has – shock horror – been in lifts before. Not only that, but she was smiling in them.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BG4YrhSxesn/?taken-by=scarlett_moffatt&hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/p/BG4Yk7DxesX/?taken-by=scarlett_moffatt&hl=en

The victory on ‘I’m a Celeb’ may have elevated Moffatt to stardom, given her career lift-off or whatever other tabloid pun you want to go with, but was it all built on a lie?

Can we believe anything we’re told any more? Is she really called Scarlett? Was she really in the jungle to begin with? Are lifts real? Are Ant & Dec really Dec & Ant?

Thankfully some internet detectives have got her bang to rights so we’ll never have to be subjected to this sort of lift deception that can bring down governments and set society back thousands of years.

Can’t wait for this lot to get to the bottom of some of these.

Catch up with this week’s episode of Football Friday Live