Should’ve just called it ‘Get Me Out Of Here‘, tbh.
I’m A Celeb is back, much to the delight of maybe four people. But still, here we are.
As with any show that uses contestants that willingly refer to themselves as celebrities, this year’s I’m A Celeb is bound to provide us with an abundance of cringe.
We’ve only seen 1 hour and 20 minutes so far, but already I’ve begun compiling evidence to prove that celebrities are among the most awkward people in existence today.
Behold, eight instances you may have missed on last night’s episode.
1. Rebekah Vardy told Stanley Johnson that her husband plays for England and he instantly assumed she meant cricket
Seems like Boris’ Dad is going to be a treasure trove for awkward content this series and I for one welcome it with open arms. Rebekah refuted Stanley’s suspicions that she was a film star and informed him that she’s married to Jamie Vardy “who plays for England”. Immediately, Stanley queried as to whether he would be “out for the Ashes”, and much to Rebekah’s bafflement, she had to announce “he plays football, not cricket”. Already, I’m A Celeb 2017 is off to a winning start in terms of uncomfortable viewing.
2. Jack Maynard described himself as “a YouTube sensation”
In the interest of saving you the torture of reading one of those ‘WHO IS X?’ articles, he’s Conor Maynard’s brother. Surely to be described as a ‘sensation’, you need to be well known / hugely successful? Perhaps I am not sufficiently down with the kids, but the only YouTubers I am aware of are Casey Neistat and, unfortunately, Zoella. You cannot simply profess yourself as a sensation because your publicist told you to. Maynard would’ve been more easily identifiable if he said ‘My brother is the guy that’s covered every single song in existence’, IMO.
3. Amir Khan wore jeans and sheux
Mate. Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate. MAAAAATE. You’re on telly. Please reserve such crimes against fashion for the privacy of your own home. Nobody wants to see a professional boxer in smart/casual wear, it’s like seeing a scuba diver wearing a tuxedo. Although he’ll be wearing an assortment of shorts, t-shirts and gilets in the jungle, it’s likely that this major mishap at such an early stage of the competition will affect his popularity with voters, and so it should. Zoom with caution on the above image. You’ve been warned.
4. They kept playing the score from Interstellar during the first task for some reason?
I’m not the only one that noticed this because a quick Twitter search has proven that several other people picked up on it as well. Truly, is that the most apt soundtrack to play during I’m A Celeb? The one from a film about trying to save humanity after the inhabitants of earth have exhausted every means possible of sustaining life? Bit grim, tbh. Perhaps this series will exclusively use movie scores, in which case I can’t wait to see Stanley Johnson eating a kangaroo testicle accompanied by ‘Circle Of Life’ and the screams of his fellow celebrities.
5. Vanessa was freaking out and asked her partner Amir for some reassurance, so he told her to “Just keep breathing”
“Brilliant, thanks Amir. Was planning on giving up breathing but now you’ve reminded me to keep going, I’ll stick with it”, is how Vanessa should’ve sassily responded. He was a man out for himself and no one else during that part of the show, which is possibly a precursor for what’s to come during his time in the jungle. Vanessa could’ve plunged to her untimely death and Amir probably would’ve finished the task all in the name of some good, healthy competition.
6. Stanley got bitten by a mysterious creature and announced that it may have been a prawn
It was actually a crab, but to hear a grown man speculate as to whether he had been bitten by a prawn was deeply satisfying to watch. Prawns don’t bite, regardless of their political inclinations. What happened was Stanley dipped his hand into a concealed box to collect some tokens and was nipped by a crab that obviously isn’t a fan of the Conservatives. Rather than logically use his knowledge of I’m A Celeb and the typical clientele they use for these tasks, he deduced that it must have been a prawn.
7. Dennis went in for a fist bump but Shappi anticipated a standard high five and this happened:
They were about to skydive out of a helicopter against their own free will, so it’s easy to forgive such a momentary lapse in judgement, but the fact remains that Shappi and Dennis’ cringeworthy misunderstanding was caught on film and will remain easily accessible to anyone that desires it from now until the end of time. Dennis is fifty years of age. Is that an acceptable vintage to be engaging in fist bumps in such a willy nilly manner? Personally, I believe not. Once you reach thirty years of age, you must retire your fondness of fist bumps and move into high fives or, if absolutely necessary, reassuring winks.
8. When he reached the camp, Amir said there was “a lot of trees and leaves”, which is something he doesn’t like
Earlier on in the show, Amir announced that he’d never actually watched I’m A Celeb, and I was skeptical. Surely if you’re going on a show, you’d watch a few clips online to find out what it entails, or at least Google it to find out where it’s set. But it legitimately seems as though Amir Khan doesn’t know what he’s signed up for. Mate, you’re in the middle of the jungle in Australia. This isn’t a joke. The man doesn’t like leaves or trees because he doesn’t “know what might be under them”. We’re in for a treat with Amir on this year’s I’m A Celeb and personally, I am ready for it.
All images via ITV
