Day 8.
Oh Lordy did we see some things on I’m A Celeb last night. Over 4,000 complaints were made to Ofcom as a result of the unbridled carnage that took place.
Ant and Dec brought a high voltage taster gun into the campsite and began electrocuting the celebrities in order of their BMIs from highest to lowest. Then, Dec tricked the celebrities into getting blood tests on medical welfare grounds, but used the extracted blood to smear himself in it, running around nude and proclaiming himself to be Clifford The Big Red Dog.
Just kidding, it wasn’t that exciting.
But here’s six mildly amusing things that actually happened.
1. Toff snotted herself in the middle of camp
Moments after displaying her attempt at martial arts moves to Amir, Toff was walking around the campsite when she, excuse the profanity, ate shit. She appeared to trip on something which sent her initially upwards and then face first into the grubby jungle ground. Luckily, Toff was absolutely fine and laughed off the entire spectacle, which means I can make fun of it now because nobody died. Toff’s a keen fan of traveling, so she’ll be sure to feel grateful for being involved in such a well-documented trip.
2. Ant delivered the joke of the series and deserves a Knighthood immediately
Jamie and Rebekah were deep underground being exposed to a family of 12 baby crocodiles when Jamie sensitively inquired “What if it bites my little todger off?” and quick as a flash, Ant responded with “Well he’d still be hungry”. Understandably, Dec erupted into convulsions of laughter while Ant remained visibly proud of his quip. Meanwhile, Jamie and Rebekah refused to dignify such a crass comment with any sort of response, mostly because they were surrounded by 12 crocodiles and deeply terrified for their lives at the time.
3. Amir asked if there had ever been “a woman Prime Minister” and Stanley almost collapsed
Then Amir rectified his mistake and said “Oh, Margaret Thatcher” and boxers everywhere audibly wept as their stereotype was set back fifty years. When Amir was reminded of the current Prime Minister, a woman named Theresa May, he said “Oh yeah. Don’t tell anyone I said that”, again proving that he does not understand the concept of reality television nor what I’m A Celeb actually is.
4. Toff stole an erotic novel from a task and asked Keith to sign it but he refused
Kiosk Keith is becoming a bit of an enigma on I’m A Celeb and I for one can’t get enough of his mysterious ways. Each time the celebrities approach his shack, he displays a blank expression, then somehow makes a phone call back to camp without even speaking. Is he using morse code? We will simply never know. On last night’s episode, Toff brought a book he allegedly wrote from the task to get it signed and he blanked her. He is an icon and deserves to be crowned King of the Jungle for this act alone tbqh.
5. Toff snotted herself AGAIN, this time spilling all the crisps that she won
It was a real knockout episode for Toff last night, in the sense that she almost knocked herself out twice. The first instance was entertaining enough for us all to feast our grubby little eyes upon, but the second falling was infinitely superior. Toff and Kez had just won some crisps for camp and were enjoying their hero’s welcome back when Toff snotted herself (almost into the fire) and flung her crisps everywhere. Someone shouted “5 second rule”, but everyone knows that doesn’t count when you’re posh.
6. Daft Punk made an unexpected appearance
During the live segment of the show, we were treated to a special performance by Daft Punk. They played a very quick DJ set which delighted all of the contestants and crew working on I’m A Celeb. In their trademark fashion, their faces were concealed by helmets, but if you look very closely at the above screengrab, you might be able to tell who they are. That’s right, Fizz off Coronation Street and professional boxer Amir Khan are indeed Daft Punk. What a time to be alive.
All images via ITVÂ
