Let’s refresh this thing before winter finally falls
Yep, it’s time.
Game of Thrones season eight is just about here.
We’ve got all kinds of related activity on-site at the moment, such as:
A seriously in-depth deep dive on The Night King and what he wants.
An ominous Red Wedding-style omen for the final episodes.
A prediction of how every main character is going to die in season eight.
The Red Cross have also decided which character is the biggest war criminal.
Where and how can I watch season eight?
The first episode of season eight will premiere in the early hours of Monday morning at 2am for Irish viewers on Sky Atlantic.
The episode will be repeated on Monday night at 9pm and is also available on NOW TV.
How many episodes are in the final season?
Six, but several are feature-length.
Is this a Netflix-type situation where all episodes are released in one go?
It is not.
They will air weekly until the very last one ever (sob) arrives on Monday 20 May.
Okay. Who’s still alive, then?
Not as many as there once were, that’s for sure.
Still alive and kicking are:
Jon Snow.
Daenerys Targaryen.
Tyrion Lannister.
Cersei Lannister.
Qyburn.
Jaime Lannister.
Bronn.
Sansa Stark.
Arya Stark.
Bran Stark.
Sandor ‘The Hound’ Clegane.
Gregor ‘The Mountain’ Clegane.
Jorah Mormont.
Grey Worm.
Missandei.
Theon Greyjoy.
Euron Greyjoy.
Yara Greyjoy.
Varys.
Gendry.
Tormund Giantsbane.
Beric Dondarrion.
Dolorous Edd.
Brienne of Tarth.
Podrick Payne.
Davos Seaworth.
Melisandre.
Lyanna Mormont.
Samwell Tarly.
Gilly.
Baby Samwell.
Ellaria Sand (just about).
Daario Nahaaris.
The Night King.
Viserion (kinda).
Drogon.
Rhaegal.
Ghost.
Nymeria.
Hot Pie.
Meera Reed.
Edmure Tully.
Jaqen H’ghar.
And several others who aren’t that important.
Cheers. Who died along the way, so?
Spoiler-riffic deep breath…
Littlefinger was sentenced to death by Sansa ‘Lady Stark’ Stark in the final episode of season seven, and was executed by Arya.
The beloved Olenna Tyrell was poisoned by Jaime halfway through the season, effectively ending the Tyrell’s storyline in the show.
Similarly, the Sandsnakes of Dorne were killed early on by Euron Greyjoy, ending the Dorne storyline — a source of relief to us all.
Other important people who are dead include:
Ned Stark, Catelyn Stark, Robb Stark, Rickon Stark, Robert Baratheon, Stannis Baratheon, Renly Baratheon, Joffrey Baratheon, Myrcella Baratheon, Tommen Baratheon, Tywin Lannister, Shae, all of the Tyrells, all of the Martells, all of the Freys, Roose Bolton, Ramsay Snow, Osha, Thoros of Myr, Lysa Arryn, Khal Drogo, Jojen Reed and Hodor. And thankfully, Olly.
So… almost everybody.
Jesus.
Show doesn’t mess around, yeah.
Actually, could I get a quick season seven recap, please?
Sure. Follow this Twitter thread.
https://twitter.com/niilexis/status/1116470604461424640
And a general ‘what’s about to happen’ plot for the new and last ever season?
The army of the dead – led by the Night King and his White Walkers – have finally breached The Wall. Nobody south of The Wall knows about this yet. We still have no idea what they want, but the intel so far suggests that they want to kill everyone.
An army of Northerners, Unsullied, Dothraki, two dragons, The Hound, Jorah Mormont, Jaime Lannister, Bronn, Brienne, Arya Stark, wildlings and the Night’s Watch are poised to fight the dead as soon as they reach Winterfell.
Further south, Cersei is planning to conquer all of Westeros while the Northerners busy themselves with the White Walkers. She told them she’d send her army north to help them but this is a lie. She will soon be joined by Euron Greyjoy, his fleet, and a team of mercenaries called the Golden Company.
Elsewhere, Theon is trying to save Yara from Euron with a few dozen Ironborn.
