Episode 2.
We’re only two days into this year’s I’m A Celeb and already we’ve been provided with some top quality cringe television.
Last night, the campers all delivered a stellar performance, proving that celebrities are, emotionally speaking, a million miles away from you and I.
From the extortionate price of biscuits to Amir’s gross exaggerations about a snake, it was truly unmissable viewing from start to finish.
Here’s six cringe moments you might’ve missed.
1. Just two episodes in, Toff delivered the line of the seriesÂ
Toff and Amir were voted to take part in the first Bush Tucker Trial, which saw them subjected to some torturous conditions in an underground cave full of critters. Toff opted for the easier option, which consisted of being locked in a small bunker awaiting rescuing by Amir.
As the hatch filled with various bugs and creepy crawlies, Toff announced ‘Something is infiltrating my tits’, to signify that the bugs had indeed reached her chest area. We’re only two episodes in, but already I’m crowning this outburst as The Line Of The Series.
2. Ant and Dec couldn’t contain themselves when Amir lost his nut over a snake
Amir has made it very clear that he doesn’t like snakes and spiders, which is fair enough. He also said during the first episode, upon reaching the jungle, that he doesn’t like leaves and trees, so we’re not expecting a huge amount of satisfaction from Amir during his time on I’m A Celeb.Â
When he entered the underground bunker for this Bush Tucker Trial, he was visibly nervous. His shrieks were comical, but Ant and Dec did their best to stifle their laughter, until Amir accidentally pulled out a snake and jumped two feet backwards in horror. The pair lost it and produced some stellar reactions, proving that they live for celebrities embarrassing themselves, just like the rest of us.
3. Toff was absolutely livid with Amir for bitching out of the task over a tiny snake
When he said those fatal words ‘I’m A Celebrity, My Career Is Failing So I have Come On This Show Get Me Out Of Here’, Toff was livid. She said about four times “Why did you do that?”, but Amir ignored her queries. He’s a boxer, he doesn’t answer to no one, innit.
Toff seemed to get a rough deal as well, but she powered through for the sake of providing food for her fellow campers. Amir didn’t give a shit. He touched a snake and that was enough. Toff was visibly livid, but Amir was thrilled with his decision.
4. Amir told the rest of camp that he “pulled out a python and nearly died”, neither of which happened
I’m no snake expert, but that looks like a friendly little guy to me. My only experience of pythons is the one in The Jungle Book, and he wasn’t a bad guy. Amir and Toff sauntered back to camp, with Toff assigning the task of informing the campers of their failure to Amir.
He got in touch with his inner Jay from The Inbetweeners and announced that he had almost died in the interaction with a very small snake that lasted about half a second. He mistook the snake for a piece of rope, which incidentally allows us all to gauge the exact size of it accordingly. It was small. It was cute. It was not a python.
5. The price of tea and biscuits in the jungle was a fucking outrage
Admittedly, my knowledge of the Australian Dollar’s exchange rate wouldn’t be much to write home about, but I’m pretty sure that $100 for tea and a further $100 for biscuits is nothing short of outrageous. However, we need to remember where we are. This is I’m A Celeb. The contestants are all extremely wealthy.
To them, $200 for tea and biscuits is a bargain. They cackled at such a discounted rate for sustenance. Typically, celebrities pay upwards of $1,000 for bottled water. This jaunt in the jungle is but a game to them. They didn’t even tip the shack owner, proving that even in the middle of the jungle, all celebrities are scum.
6. Jack failed a task because a leaf touched his shoulder
Since they didn’t have a lot of food for camp, Shappi, Jack and Vanessa were given the chance to win three extra meals. All they had to do was keep a piece of string pulled so their lights stayed on. Vanessa let hers go because she was moving around too much, then Jack freaked out because a leaf touched his shoulder.
A leaf. Touched. His. Shoulder. A leaf touched Conor Maynard’s brother’s shoulder and now ten people will go hungry today. The only person that could successfully keep a piece of string pulled for a few minutes was Shappi. These celebrities. Truly, they are a different breed.
All images via ITV
