Day 4.
Oh boy did it all kick off again on last night’s I’m A Celeb. Vanessa poured gasoline all over the entire campsite and begun a satanic ritual which frightened the other celebrities at first, but soon they all got on board and together, they sacrificed Medic Bob to the occult overlords.
In reality, it was a pretty standard episode. They did some tasks, they moaned about being hungry, Stanley slept for most of it, they all went to the toilet in a bucket, etc.
Here’s six sufficiently awkward moments that made it all worthwhile.
1. Toff revealed that she likes look at other peoples’ toilet business before emptying it
Dennis and Toff were tasked with changing the dunny tank, which is basically a large container that everyone excretes into. Toff decided to let the nation know that she actually enjoys having a quick look at the accumulation of literal shit before she pops a lid on it for ease of disposal. Dennis was understandably horrified because he is a normal human being, so he instead opted for not staring at the toilet business of ten people. Wise man, tbh.
2. For motivation, Stanley reminded Rebekah that “if you can eat your placenta, you can eat anything”
Rebekah and Toff were getting stressed over their Bushtucker Trial, which they were pretty much certain would involve eating bugs and insects. Stanley Johnson, easily the most entertaining contestant on this year’s I’m A Celeb, decided to reassure Rebekah by reminding her that she had once eaten her own placenta. If your mind stretches back as far as Tuesday’s episode, you’ll remember that Stanley also confused placenta with polenta, but that’s beside the point.
3. Rebekah pulled this face while she was eating a sheep’s anus
Amazingly, Stanley’s pep talk regarding placenta eating proved to have no effect on Rebecca’s psyche as she powered her way through the Bushtucker Trial with Toff. She was served up a generous plate of sheep’s anus, which produced what is sure to be one of the top three facial expressions of this series of I’m A Celeb, without a doubt. Rebekah might well win the competition this year, but I don’t really care so long as this clip is included in her best bits so we can see her witnessing it in real time.
4. Right as Toff put a bull’s penis in her mouth, Rebekah told her to “think of the boys”
She was obviously referring to the boys back at camp who hadn’t eaten anything other than beans and rice for three days, but it came across as otherwise. Toff had bravely just begun to chow down on the tip of a bull’s penis when Rebekah was doing her best to provide some encouragement, but it inevitably resulted in Ant and Dec losing their composure. If we’ve learned nothing else from this year’s I’m A Celeb, it’s that celebrities are abysmal at giving each other motivation to do something.
5. For a brief moment, it appeared as though Stanley Johnson had passed away
It transpired that Stanley had merely treated himself to one of his 7,000 lie downs that he is contractually obligated to avail of each day. The rest of the campmates were doing some exercise at ‘Jamie’s Gym’, a fitness regime headed up by an actor, not by the professional boxer nor former professional footballer in the camp, for some reason. Rather than joining in, Stanley opted for a quick kip in a what is 100% likely to be his final resting position when the times comes.
6. Vanessa looked at the dinner bag with more lustful desire than has ever been seen on pre-watershed television before
Truly, a more besotted look has never been produced in the history of British television. Vanessa wasn’t even hungriest of them all. Jamie, Amir and Dennis hadn’t eaten a proper meal in four days. She’d chowed down on a luxury meal the night before. Regardless, Vanessa was transfixed by the sight of a rugged looking bag of food descending from Heaven above unto the campsite. It was mildly uncomfortable, but none of her campmates noticed because they were all doing the same. Celebrities, eh?
All images via ITV
