Day 5.
Goodness, the nation is still reeling from the events that took place on I’m A Celeb last night. Rebekah tried to drown Shappi in the dunny after they had a disagreement over the nutritional properties of salt, Stanley began eating his own foot after gently sautéing it due to extreme hunger and Vanessa revealed that The Saturdays got their name because they committed several unsolved murders every Saturday morning throughout the 90s.
Just kidding. It was another standard episode full with harmony, concern for each others’ wellbeing and a lot of deep and meaningful conversations.
Some of it was slightly awkward, as we’ve come to expect. Here’s six moments that will haunt your sleep tonight.
1. Toff shared the most inspiring story of the series and all Stanley could respond with was “Good heavens”
Stanley was talking about tortoises, when Toff offered up an incredible tale. She recalled having a pet tortoise as a child, which was minded by her friend when she went to boarding school. Roughly three years into this specific type of tortoise’s life, it changed gender, so she changed its name from Hetty to Hector. But the gripping story doesn’t end there, as Toff revealed that her friend who was minding the tortoise had also decided to change their gender shortly after. What a wonderful anecdote to share with her campmates, one that teaches us all a valuable lesson about acceptance and the important of living one’s truest life. “Good heavens”, remarked Stanley, the loveable scamp.
2. Jamie produced this reaction when he saw that one of their new campmates would be Iain Lee
In what made very little contextual sense, the celebrities were shown political campaign style videos of their new campmates. Within seconds of Iain Lee’s VT beginning, we were treated to Jamie’s confused and slightly perturbed expression. He clearly doesn’t know who Iain Lee is, nor does he particularly care for his attempt at political satire. Jamie Lomas was on Hollyoaks FFS, he doesn’t have time to sit around watching jaunty little overarching videos by broadcasters he’s never heard of. How dare Iain Lee waste Jamie Lomas’ time. How very, very, very dare he.
3. Stanley assisted Kez in getting a spider off her bottom
I daren’t suggest that there was any malintent on Stanley’s behalf, it was just very uncomfortable to watch a 77-year-old man jumping out of his seat to assist a you lady with brushing a spider off her bottom. If you watch the clip very closely, you’ll see that the spider had already been removed before Stanley began to give Kez’s bottom a good brushing down. We must assume that his intentions were honourable and pure. Either way, it was a tough sequence to watch. I am choosing to believe that Stanley Johnson is a decent and helpful man. If that involves touching a bottom or two, then so be it.
4. Rebakah savagely suggested that they kill the bush turkey AND HE HEARD IT
The I‘m A Celeb icon always wanders into camp at a point where the celebrities are hungry and contemplating eating each other. On this occasion, Rebekah caught a glimpse of the turkey five days in and said deadpan “Kill it”. There was a look in her eyes that reinforced the suspicion that she was being 100% serious. Her campmates laughed it off, but you could tell that Rebekah was testing the waters. She would kill that dopey looking turkey in a second if it meant she’d be eating anything other than rice and beans. He knew it too, as he overheard the cruel remark and immediately disappeared deep into the Australian jungle, never to be seen again.
5. Shappi, Fizz and Dennis got a big fright from a rotating red light
These celebrities have lost their damn minds and we need to get them out of there immediately. Look at them. Their precious eyes haven’t seen the dizzy glow of a smartphone screen in over four days. They’re shells of their former selves. Look how scared they are of a rotating red light. What did they think was going to happen when all five green lights lit up? They’d all go home to bed? Get real, this is I’m A Celeb. Their fascination with such an innocuous light is worrying. This is a crisis situation. Get them home to the comfortingly grubby shores of the UK at once.
6. Jamie was screaming internally when they lost the cake to a bunch of critters
That is the face of a man that has been eating rice and beans all day and would’ve sacrificed his left arm for the a slice of Victoria sponge. His team, comprised of himself, Kez and Vanessa, lost out on the task by a very small margin. What they didn’t know was that losing actually meant they’d win some letters from home. Jamie’s sad little face is carrying the weight of the world, but just a few hours later, he’ll be rejoicing to learn that indeed he had won something worth much more than a cake. Granted, you can’t eat a letter from home, but it’s probably sentimentally better.
All images via ITV
