I’m A Celebrity… Thank God The Series Is Finally Over!
Last night saw the final instalment of I’m A Celeb 2018 air, with the special Coming Out show being broadcast to the nation.
We got to see what happened to the campmates after they left the jungle, including the eagerly-anticipated documenting of their first meals and their reaction to the lavish hotel rooms they were put up in.
That was it pretty much, that’s all the show entailed. Watching celebrities do stuff, which in a way, is what the whole series was about. Lol.
Anyway, we’ve watched it so you don’t have to. Here’s 15 deeply important things we learned.
1. John Barrowman’s parents are the same person
Look at the gentleman on the left, then look at the lady on the right. They are John Barrowman’s parents and they are the exact same person. It is insane how similar they look. Opposites do not attract. Borderline twins do.
2. Joe Swash interrupted Noel Edmonds’ emotional reunion with his wife by planting a big sloppy kiss on them both
Noel hadn’t even hugged his own son yet, but Swash was over getting his camera time in because publicity waits for no man. Joe Swash needs a sit down and a glass of milk.
3. After leaving the jungle, the very first thing Noel Edmonds ate was PINEAPPLE
Jesus. Noel. You’ve been starving for days. Get a pizza, gorge yourself on biscuits, eat precisely 1kg of Nutella straight out of the industrial-sized jar. Live a little. Fucking pineapple, smdh.
4. Rita quite literally hugged the toilet when she left the jungle
After shitting in a glorified bucket for the past two weeks, Rita counted her blessings once she reached the hotel. Just kidding, she hugged the toilet for a few minutes, then thoroughly soiled it.
5. A giant and terrifying unidentified creature was in charge of looking after the celebrities when they leave the jungle
This unexplained creature was seen bundling the celebrities into the back of a jeep one by one as they left the jungle. No explanation was offered, so let’s invent one: It is Mr. Blobby in disguise.
6. Nick retold the Biffy Clyro story to anyone that would listen despite everyone already hearing it 17,000 times before
Fleur East’s sister instantly regretted congratulating Nick on his #1 position in the iTunes chart because he mistook it as an invitation to retell the whole in excruciating detail once more.
7. James’ girlfriend tucked into his first pizza after leaving the jungle even though SHE DIDN’T EARN IT
Not to go in on Kirstie, she’s probably a very nice girl, BUT KIRSTIE YOU DID NOT EARN A SLICE OF THAT PIZZA THAT WAS JAMES’ CONSOLATION PRIZE FOR BEING BOOTED OUT OF THE JUNGLE EARLY HOW DARE YOU DEPRIVE HIM OF A PIZZA SLICE.
8. Fleur hit up the drive thru on her way out of the jungle, just like everyone else should have done
Finally, someone took their first meal after I’m A Celeb jungle life seriously. Genius and woman of the people, Fleur East hit up the KFC drive thru on her way out of the jungle for a 42-piece bargain bucket of chicken to share with her sister. Again, similar to Kirstie with the pizza, Fleur’s sister did not deserve the chicken, but we will overlook it as there was a very large quantity to get through.
9. John Barrowman slipped straight back into a Scottish accent when he was reunited with his parents
“I didnae realise ye were here evredeee”, rung out of John Barrowman’s mouth, like a foreign sound as if it had come from elsewhere. The Scotsman instantly slipped back into his heritage as soon as he embraced his parents who, for the record, are still the exact same person.
10. John treated his hotel room’s welcome cake with exactly the right attitude
So far, only Fleur and John have correctly approached their first meals after leaving the jungle. John arrived at his hotel room to a welcoming cake, which he rightfully stuffed his face into in an animalistic manner. Everything tastes better when you quite literally stuff your face with it, everyone knows that.
11. The first thing Emily said to her mother was “No one’s died, have they?”
Look, we all have elderly relatives and it’s an appropriate question to ask as soon as you leave the I’m A Celeb jungle. Emily was right to check before she started celebrating. More power to her.
12. Emily shouted ‘Bus wankers’ from the roof of the taxi to remind us that she is an important part of British culture
Lest we forget from where she came, Emily reminded the nation of her relevance in British culture by bellowing “BUS WANKERS” at the top of her lungs as she went past the shuttle bus on her way to the hotel. The girl is an icon.
13. Harry was finally reunited with his one true love, and also Sandra
Harry Redknapp finally got some jam roly-poly and custard as soon as he reached the hotel, which was honestly more pure than watching Jack and Rose reunite when she dies at the end of Titanic, sorry for the spoiler.
14. For reasons unknown, Noel Edmonds arrived at Harry’s hotel room to give him a groin massage
Within minutes of Harry arriving at his hotel fresh from the I’m A Celeb jungle, Noel Edmonds burst through the door with lotion, shoved him into the bedroom and started aggressively rubbing his groin. Why did he do this? Honestly, if we’re being true to ourselves, why the hell not?
15. Harry absolutely savaged his son Jamie by saying that he couldn’t pull Emily now
After remarking that the girls had all scrubbed up really well for the final party, Emily then asked Harry if she had a chance with his son Jamie now that she looks more put together. Naturally, Harry savaged his own flesh and blood by responding “I don’t think he could pull you now”. Oh the lols. We had a good time watching this year’s I’m A Celeb, didn’t we?
Images via ITV
