It would be unfair of us to say this is the worst piece of music ever recorded, but that’s not going to stop us from thinking it.
An anti-EU ‘parody’ of the Lightning Seeds’ classic ‘Three Lions’ has been released in support of the campaign to exit the European Union, and it’s impressively bad.
Picture your drunk aunt singing and dancing at a wedding, only with simultaneously more and less self-awareness. That’s former UKIP parliamentary candidate Mandy Boylett, times two (more on that later).
If you thought those Arsenal fan songs were the worst thing ever, you might want to revise your opinion.
In fairness to the perpetrators, they’ve done well to get the parody to scan relatively well to the tune of ‘Three Lions’.
You might scoff, but you’d be amazed at how many similar efforts either fail on the scansion front or show an outright disdain for the mere concept.
There are some fantastic throwaway lines – ‘they’ve taken all our fish’, anyone – which hearken back to the heyday of 90s pop when lyrics didn’t need to make sense as long as you had a good melody and engaging performers.
Admittedly they’re let down on the latter front, showing all the charisma of, well, someone still angry about those pesky Europeans nabbing their honest British fish.
In fairness, the outfits are perfectly synced up, conjuring an image of an article entitled ‘Want to feel old? This is what the Spice Girls look like now’.
As for the dancing, it’s self-deprecating enough that you actually admire the moxie of the duo to stick with it for a solid three minutes and one second.
Oh, did we say ‘duo’? It’s actually just one woman in two separate wigs, creator Boylett explained to BuzzFeed. If the EU was that good at economising, perhaps we wouldn’t even need a song like ‘Britain’s Coming Home’.
And as for the use of Nigel Farage in place of football commentators? Genius.
In fact, we’ve gone full circle. This isn’t bad. It’s actually good.
Clip via Mandy Boylett
