If the launch of the Greggs vegan sausage roll is anything to go by this will infuriate lots of weird young men for absolutely no reason at all
Imagine… imagine getting trolled by food. That’s the reality some people live in. Getting trolled by food. That’s actually part of their life: popping a bulging forehead vein and turning the same colour as beetroot because someone somewhere thought it might be a good idea to introduce a completely plant-based, meat-free alternative to a popular food, thereby giving vegans and even just people who don’t fancy consuming meat all the time, incessantly, forever, the opportunity to enjoy something like a sausage roll or a chicken nugget without worrying about the treatment and killing of the animal, the environmental impact and the health consequences of the fatty, processed food. Imagine… getting angry about that!
But they do and then they do things like film themselves buying said food, with their own money, therefore contributing to its success and then put it in the bin without eating it, uploading it to social media thinking: ‘Ha! This is me definitely, definitely trolling the food and not the other way round, which would be me getting sent into a rage by literally just a Quorn sausage in some batter for reasons I can’t quite explain!”
"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
— wint (@dril) November 11, 2011
So, with all that hysterical yung-Piers Morgan reaction in mind, let me bring you the news that McDonald’s have launched their new vegan nuggets in Norway, where they will be testing them out before (hopefully) bringing them over to the UK.
The vegan nuggets are made with mashed potato, chickpeas, onion, carrots and corn and are then coated in a layer of breadcrumbs and fried until crispy, making them look and feel like normal chicken nuggets.
McDonald’s UK doesn’t currently have anything certified as vegan on the menu other than the Spicy Veggie Wrap Happy Meal but looking at their ever-expanding menu worldwide – such as a soy-based McVegan burger in Finland and the McFalafel in Sweden – this is bound to change sooner rather than later.
To end: if you are angry about this news in any way other than because it’s only Norway that gets the new vegan nugs, you have once again been trolled by some food. Congratulations. A lifetime of hopeless misery and a sunburned, gammon and chips retirement on the Costa del Sol awaits.
