The customer is rarely right but these points are.
I’ve been lucky enough to have some great jobs over the years but there’s still one place that easily ranks as my favourite place to work.
During my college years, I was a DVD monkey clerk at a video store and my daily life was eerily similar to Kevin Smith’s classic of the same name.
There are a few things that only people who handle money and face the public will know to be true. Here are just a few.
1) The shop is usually left in rag order
If you’re opening the store on a Saturday then the area outside is usually littered with cans of beer, curry tins and empty bags of chips.
It’s almost like the entire community has decided to take a collective dump outside of your place of work.
2) The inside isn’t much better
Have you ever worked with someone that’s so relaxed about their work that they don’t even bother cleaning up the shop or arranging the shelves from the night before?
The store usually looks like a tornado just swept through it.
3) The float
Every shop, bar or business with a cash register will always need a certain amount in their register when the store is opening. This is called ‘the float.’
£100 was mine but there was always one person that somehow managed to ensure that £87.23 was left in the till.
They also managed to fit in a few Mars Bar wrappers, a box of matches and a rock.
It’s not that my colleague was stealing any money, it’s just that he couldn’t count.
4) Hangover rules
If you’re hungover then it’s never going to be a cushy day.
In fact, you’re probably going to be rushed off your feet. Then again, I once found a colleague of mine that was passed out on top of a stack of DVDs.
He still claims that he was ‘just tired.’ Chancer.
5) You’ll meet all these people
I’m speaking from my own experience here but most customers are decent people. Then again you’ll usually meet these people.
a) Arseholes that feel like they can talk s**t to you. In this case, it’s ok to be snarky with them.
b) People that have no idea what they want and will ask you a million questions.
c) Parents that look like they’ve lost the will to live because their kids are running wild and sucking the last drops of patience, energy, and money from them.
d) The regulars that are grand but genuinely think that they’re your best mate.
e) People that genuinely don’t believe you when you say that the product they’re looking for is out of stock. They’ll always ask you to “go in the back and check”.
6) Kids wreck everything
If you’ve carefully arranged a display or a shelf then some child will go out of their way to destroy it.
You just want to do this to them.
7) When someone leaves the store that’s rude to you
This is the acceptable reaction.
8) Developing the two face
Anyone that works with members of the public has perfected the art of being nice to people’s faces while secretly thinking about murdering them.
9) Music playlists on a continuous loop will make you want to kill yourself
As a customer, most of the tunes that you hear in a shop are great. Hearing them played on repeat for the 732nd time as an employee though is enough to drive you to drink.
10) A neat and organised shelf or table gives you a small pleasure.
It’s official, your life is sad.
11) Closing is a nightmare
There’s always someone that walks in just when you’re about to close. They usually get really annoyed and say something like ‘I’m reporting this to your manager’ despite the fact that it’s 22:02 and you’re off at ten.
Cue you walking away like this at the end of the day.
