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Dating is a nightmare for a lot of single people. There’s simply too much to think about and too little time to spend finding the one. Dating apps have changed the game but even they can be difficult to navigate. Luckily for you, singleton, we spoke to journalist and dating expert Almara Abgarian, who has some top tips for you.
Choosing a venue for a first date is a big decision, it can provide an opportunity to bond over a fun activity, or it can backfire and lead to a lot of awkward silences.
“A first date can be nerve-wracking. Depending on how well you know the person you’re going on a date with – if it’s a Tinder date or a friend you’re taking things a step further with – keep things simple. Go for drinks or coffee, but don’t book in a meal. That way, if you decide 15 minutes in that this isn’t for you, you don’t have to sit through a full dinner”, Almara says.
But before you have to make that decision, you have to actually get a date. Many people will find approaching a stranger they fancy difficult and awkward. But there is a way to do it without coming across as a pest.
“Approaching someone to ask for a date can be terrifying – for both parties. If you’re picking up a stranger in a bar, on the train or just in any public setting, be respectful. A forceful approach isn’t nice and usually won’t get you a date. Say hi, smile, maybe offer a compliment if it’s an appropriate setting and just go from there. Body language says a lot. If it’s a no, don’t push it.”
More often than not these days, you’ll ask someone out on a dating app or after sliding into their Instagram DMs. There are plenty of dos and don’ts even in a virtual context, though.
“If you’re sliding into someone’s DMs or in other words, flirting on Instagram, or on other social media – don’t be creepy. It’s ok to admire someone’s pics, but be cheeky and fun, not overtly flirty. And this should go without saying – don’t send a d*@k pic.”
Pretty sound advice.
Everyone is prone to the odd faux pas, we’re all human. But there are certain things you should always do if you want to keep a good thing going.
“People make a lot of mistakes when they’re first dating, but that’s part of getting to know the other person. But, whether you’re just out to have fun, a one night stand, casual dating or a long-term relationship, make sure you’re open and honest with the other person. And don’t ghost him or her afterwards if you don’t want to meet again. Treat someone how you’d like to be treated yourself”, Almara says.
“Try not to rush things, just take them as they come. People tend to get scared off if you come on strong. Listen to the other person too, and show an interest. No one wants to date someone who only talks about themselves.”
If a date goes well, it can be difficult to work out how long to wait until you should send them a message afterwards. Too soon comes across as needy, too late: too distant. Is there a rule? Not anymore.
Almara insists you should play it by ear and trust your instincts.
“The 3-day rule for calling someone is dead and let’s be thankful for it, because it was a ridiculous rule to begin with. There are no hard and fast rules to dating because it depends on the chemistry between two people. Some text straight after the date, others the day after. Don’t leave it too late and if you’re a girl, don’t be afraid to text him first. Confidence is attractive and there’s no reason women should have to wait for a man to text.”
It should go without saying that there is no guarantee that following these rules will find you your soulmate. But they are solid rules to live to increase your chances of a happy love life.
In association with Boost Energy Grab one at your local shop and be in with a chance of winning a £50 voucher daily to treat your date to that cheeky meal. Or perhaps even a VIP trip to Barcelona if it goes well!
