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30th Jan 2017

The world is fucked, and we are fucked with it

Pardon the language, but no other words will do.

Tony Cuddihy

The world is fucked.

You’re going to have to forgive the language, as unparliamentary as the 45th President of those (still, barely) United States. But no other words will do.

The world is fucked.

We are living inside a Daily Mash headline; a satirical circlejerk where the news you want to be real comes with an asterisk, and the news you want to be fake is brought to you by the world’s tallest can of baked beans. (Sad!)

Yeah, the world is fucked.

If you laugh about it, you’re disengaged. If you get angry about it, you need to relax. If you tweet one way, you’re a liberal luvvie. If you tweet the other way, you’re a fascist pig. If you stay silent and pretend it’s not happening, you’re just like everyone else, but nobody wants to admit it.

Nobody wants to admit that the world is fucked.

One of the world’s largest economies has, as its leader, a man taking his cue from nightly segments on Fox News and whatever whisperer is closest to hand, telling him that “it’s not really doing a racism if you’re the leader of the free world, Champ, but best not to offend the Saudis.”

The world is fucked and that is why we’re jonesing for that big, beautiful, glowing sign that we can just… about… make out down the road… and if we squint just the right way we can see the I and the m and just about make out the peachment

…but it’s a distant hope.

He got this far, after all, and too many people love a bit of malice with their microwave macaroni and cheese, and they’re looking for the nearest deity to blame. Not to mention the nearest group of civilians who now must pay for that great crime of… geography.

Be certain about it. The world is fucked.

But it’s not too late to unfuck it.

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Opinion