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18th Apr 2018

The definitive and controversial list of the best biscuits for dunking into your tea

Yep, this is going to start World War 3

Paul Moore

Yep, this is going to start World War 3

We’re all rational people that trust the laws of science but as Joey Tribbiani once said: “whoa, whoa, that was just a theory. There’s a lot of theories that didn’t pan out. Lone Gunman. Communism. Geometry.”

A scholar and a prophet.

Anyways, to celebrate National Tea Day this week (April 21st so get those brews in), Wren Kitchens have actually conducted some scientific research to see what biscuit has the best durability after dunking it into your tea.

Basically, they’ve devised a tea-riffic test (sorry, we had to work in one pun) to discover how long each biscuit can last before crumbling under the soggy pressure. The methodology is as follows. Each biscuit was dunked halfway into a freshly made cup of tea and held in place until it broke. A stopwatch was used to record the breakage time.

After extensive research that will surely win them the Nobel Prize, they’ve discovered that the number one biscuit for dunking is the Bourbon.

Yep, this writer is confident in saying that nobody buys them or really likes them, but we’ll still eat them solely because they’re there.

Anyways, here’s what the official chart looks like and it doesn’t make good reading for people that love dunking Hob Nobs, Ginger Nuts or Fig Rolls into their tea.

The official ranking of each biscuit by its breaking point, from lowest to highest – and also including an RDT (Recommended Dunking Time) – is as follows:

‘Classic’ Biscuit type

Breaking point

RDT

Hob Nob

15 seconds

5 seconds

Malted Milk

20 seconds

6 seconds

Ginger Nut

32 seconds

3 seconds

Fig Roll

38 seconds

4 seconds

Chocolate Digestive

41 seconds

4 seconds

Digestive

48 seconds

5 seconds

Chocolate Hob Nob

51 seconds

9 seconds

Rich Tea

58 seconds

4 seconds

Custard Cream

1 minute 6 seconds

8 seconds

Jammie Dodger

1 minute 8 seconds

8 seconds

Shortbread

1 minute 20 seconds

11 seconds

Bourbon

2 minutes 39 seconds

7 seconds

Do you agree with this list?

If you question the science involved, there’s only one way to find out.