Sometimes curiosity just gets the better of you.
Something jogs your memory and reminds you of an old ex. Then you naturally get onto wondering, “Where are they now? What are they doing? Are they happy? God, I hope they’re not happy. Well, not happier than me at least.”
Before you know it you’re 56 weeks into their Instagram, casually totting up your respective ‘how well have you done’ points.
Then it happens. A cold shard of dread instantly stabs you in the stomach. Your fat fingers have grazed the wrong part of the screen and you’ve accidentally liked a photo. And now your ex will know that you’ve been Insta-stalking their year-old pics. FFS.
If it wasn’t enough that you now look a fucking weirdo, they’ll definitely be assuming they’re doing much better than you, which as your comprehensive research shows is simply not true.
However all is not lost. You can salvage this situation if you act quickly. All you have to do is follow three simple steps:
STEP 1: Breathe.
STEP 2: Unlike the photograph immediately.
STEP 3. Scroll (as fast as your scrolling finger will allow you) to the top of the Instagram feed and double tap the newest image on the page.
Here’s how it works: When someone likes an image on your feed, you get an alert that lurks in your Instagram until you pop in to look at it. As long as your snoop-ee wasn’t staring at their phone when you accidentally double-tapped the first photo, they’ll only get one alert and should therefore presume you simply liked their latest update.
Depending what their latest photo is, you’ll probably just look a bit odd now. Rather than odd *and* desperate. Which is a marked improvement on where you were five seconds before.
You’re welcome.
