Nothing can prepare you for the interior
Very occasionally, you come across a property on Rightmove, or Zoopla, or whatever property website you look for houses you can’t afford on, and a house knocks you back. It blows you away. It makes you question why humans are the way they are. Why we do things.
These two properties usually fit into two categories – the insanely small, evidently not fit for human habitation, cupboard sized flats that parasitic landlords will describe as ‘cosy’ and charge you £1400 a month to live in, bills not included. And then there are the seemingly benign, genuinely cosy looking countryside houses that omit bad vibes from the moment you walk through the virtual door. They usually include a shrine of some sort, stuffed animals, union jacks and the least comfortable sofas you’ve ever seen.
But the reason we’re here today is a house that does not fit into either of those categories. It requires its own, new, weirder category.
It’s a house with a skate park inside.
This is the outside.
And this is the inside.
I’m sure you have a lot of thoughts. I too have thoughts, let’s try to break them down.
Firstly, this is a spectacular architectural achievement. It must have taken a lot of time, money, blood, sweat and tears to pull off.
In fact, we know it did because it featured on Netflix’s Amazing Interiors. Rob, the owner, says on the show that the skatepark takes up 85 per cent of the house.
“I’ve built a skatepark in my living room. It’s brilliant,” Rob said.
Rob’s partner of 18 years, Laura, did not seem quite so enthused, though.
“I have to climb a ladder to go to bed,” she remarked.
I don’t want to speculate too much but the fact this house is on the market would suggest Laura might have come to the end of her tether with the skate park. Who knows? I just hope everything is amicable. (If you want to watch that episode, it’s the last one in season one.)
Anyway, there is some semblance of normal house inside this building as well. And the rest of it is actually lovely. I will now show you a collection of photographs.
Look at that brick work, the fireplace, the inviting sofa, the wooden floor and understated greenery. This is a living room I would very much like to sit in.
The bedrooms are also lovely, except for that chair in the corner. Fuck that off immediately.
So essentially what we have here is a nice house, in a village near King’s Lynn, on the market for £240,000, and it includes a private skate park.
Any keen skaters looking to move to north Norfolk with approximately £24,000 in savings and a stable income that would qualify you for a mortgage? Come on down, this is the property for you.
Look at it!
