It is with a heavy heart I must announce that the teens are back at it again.
Now that Pokémon Go and fidget spinners have finally lost their appeal, the teens have returned to their favourite pastime: CONSUMING DRUGS.
Concerned parents needn’t panic, as JOE is on the case. We’ve carried out extensive research among the teen community and gleaned essential intelligence from some of the drug industry’s most notable teens.
Simply betray your teen’s trust by stealing their mobile device and reading any text messages they have sent or received of late.
If you spot any of the 40 acronyms listed below, it may be time to TTYTATDOD (talk to your teen about the danger of drugs).
LOL= Loads Of Lines (of drugs)
ROFL = Rolling Out Fat Leaves (of drugs, for consumption)
LMAO = Love Making Acid Obituaries (because of death by drugs)
WYD = Where’s Your Doobie (marijuana cigarette)
HBU = Harry Brought Uppers (type of drug – very dangerous)
TTYL = Take The Yips Later (drugs)
WTF = Where’s The Foliage (marijuana plant / hash / ganja)
ASAP = Aliens Sometimes Adopt People (jibberish due to drug use)
KK = Ketamine Kleptomania (drug addict)
AFAIK = Are Freddos Accessible In Kenya (common query among drug using teens)
G2G = Ganja 2 Good (marijuana plant)
OMG = Oh Marvelous Gear (approval of drugs on offer)
TBH = Terrific Blunt Here (marijuana cigarette)
L8R = Lance 8(ate) Rancheros (due to drugs)
OMW = Oh Marijuana, Wonderful! (drug enthusiasm)
STFU = Smack Truly Fulfils Us (untrue)
LMK = LSD Marijuana Ket (drug availability)
ILY = I Love Yokes (pills)
NVM = Need Vein Mapping (for heroin)
OFC = Oxycontin Feels Cool (it does not)
IKR = I Keep Relapsing (on drugs)
BFF = Big Fat Fix (of drugs)
IRL = I Respect LSD (LSD respects no man)
TYVM = There’s Your Vein Mate (drug assistance)
AMA = Are Magicians Assholes (common drug user query)
FML = Fetch My Lasagne (because of drug-induced munchies)
FFS = Fractures For Snitches (people who tell the police about drugs will be hurt)
ICYMI = I Can’t Yet Master Ice skating (because of the drugs)
IDGAF = I Don’t Grow Any Fegetables (misspelling ‘vegetables’ due to drug use)
IMO = I Marijuana Often (you shouldn’t)
TFW = Tablets For Winners (they are for losers)
MFW = My Family Weeps (because of the drug use)
NSFW = Never Smoke Free Weed (finally, a sensible teen)
SMDH = Smoke Meth Daily Homeboy (common drug chatter)
TBT = Totally Bitchin’ Time (due to drugs)
TIL = Today I‘ve LSD (drug stock information)
YOLO = You Owe Lee Opiates (Lee is an addict)
TLDR = Teens Love Drugs Recreationally (they should not)
NP = Nice Parents (decoy)
JFC = Jonesing For Crack (stay in school)
