A marriage is all about two people making a commitment to each other, but sometimes making it work can be pretty tough.
Like any relationship, it takes time and effort to keep both sides happy, but relationship experts warn that taking part in two behaviours could see the demise of your union.
So what’s the most common reasons people find themselves seeking a marriage counsellor?
Peter Pearson, therapist and co-founder of the Couples Institute in California, told The Independent that conflict-avoidance and a ‘competition to always be right’ are the two most frequent destructive patterns he sees in relationships.
Pearson explains that when it comes to conflict-avoidance, people are motivated by fear:
“For both people, the emotional risk of speaking up outweighs the potential benefit of bringing things up to the surface and working through them,” he said.
“You contort yourself to be acceptable to your partner so they won’t reject you or leave you. Each person compromises their wishes, their desires, their identity – the things that make them themselves.”
For those who are in a competition to always be right, Pearson added that there’s a battle to take control, including “lots of finger-pointing and blaming”.
While they might seem like contradictory statements, it’s basically about picking your battles and finding the right mix of give and take. Simple, really.
