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18th Jan 2017

21 things you’ll know if you’re not very manly but still technically a man

I'm sorry bro, but I don't even lift.

Rich Cooper

1. You don’t spend a lot of time in the gym. Or any time at all, really

Photo: tci357

 

2. You don’t really know how to fix things

Photo: @Emmalynnn213

Close enough.

 

3. Or how to make things

Photo: @_devoid_

Pretty good at breaking things, though.

 

4. You have a terrible sense of direction

 

5. You don’t necessarily think bacon is better than all food ever

Photo: Pixabay

 

6. Football is, frankly, a total mystery

 

7. If there’s one thing you’re less interested in than football, it’s talking about football

Photo: BBC

Not the programme for you, then.

 

8. You have terrible facial hair

Photo: @BLack_06K

 

9. You don’t think coffee has to be exclusively black – there are other options

Photo: @wjmarshall73

Coconut coffee? Sure, whatever floats your boat… just explain how it’s floating, though.

 

10. You’re not really interested in cars

 

11. And if yours broke down, you wouldn’t have a clue how to fix it

Photo: Unisouth

“Hello? Yeah, wheels fell off again… yes, all of them… I don’t know, you’re the mechanic!”

 

12. You’re actually not that keen on fighting, or even little bits of punching

 

13. You’re not very competitive and can deal with not coming first

Feels good when you do though, doesn’t it?

 

14. If you absolutely have to drink whiskey, you’d rather have it with some coke

It tastes like burning!

 

15. You don’t particularly care for big dumb action movies

Nothing against Predator, just not your go-to Friday night movie.

 

16. You don’t think about sex every seven seconds

Although according to research, no one really does.

 

17. You don’t instinctively hate reality television, glossy magazines or things that have flowers on them

“UGHHH GIRL THINGS, GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!”

 

18. You don’t have a man drawer full of man things

Photo: @Daryl_Pearson

To be fair, at least the stereotypical man keeps all his shit in one place.

 

19. You’re not really into the whole ‘starting fires and burning things’ racket

 

20. You’ve never killed, skinned and eaten an animal, nor do you have any particular desire to

Photo: Torrey Wiley

 

21. But you know that this is all bullshit masculinity anyway, so who cares?

 

Topics:

Masculinity