Southern Rail do not have a good reputation right now.
In fact, if you mention the words ‘Southern Rail’ to a certain sect of commuters, they will simultaneously start vomiting and wildly punching the air in a dual expression of disgust and hate.
Delayed trains, cancellations and overcrowded carriages do not happy travellers make. Southern Rail are often busy on Twitter, fielding angry questions from frustrated commuters, such as the following:
How is this an appropriate way to deal with a lack of train crew? At least you could spread out the cancellations to run 1 train an hour! pic.twitter.com/4sOmyE7PW5
— Kellie McSmith (@kelliejsmith) July 9, 2017
It’s hard to imagine that anyone at either end of this exchange is happy, which is why a few hearts sank when this tweet went out from the Southern Rail account.
Hi, Eddie here! Here on Work Experience and ready to answer your questions! 😊
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
Yep, Eddie, a young man on work experience, would be taking over the Twitter for a little while.
This… surely could not go well.
A few people had a feeling it was going to be a rough afternoon for young Eddie.
Oh god Eddie, why are they doing this to you…they're not even paying you.
Run, run better than Southern Rail.
— Jonno (@JonnoVanguard) July 11, 2017
https://twitter.com/1N4R0551/status/884792026449022978
https://twitter.com/c_r_booth/status/884790505418231808
But even at 15 years-old, Eddie is a professional and took it all in his stride.
Hi, I'm enjoying it here, and I am getting a lot of good experience working so it's all good :). ^Eddie
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
Hi, this is what it's all about! ^Eddie
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
Thanks! Have a good day!
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
And then the daft questions started coming at Eddie, thick and fast.
Hi Eddie! Would you rather fight 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horse? 🤔
— Adam Winstone (@adam_winstone) July 11, 2017
Eddie, question…
Shall I have chicken fajitas tonight or chicken thai green curry? #AskEddie
— A (@Adam_W48) July 11, 2017
Hi Eddie, what is the worst monger? Iron, fish or war?
— Rob Young (@robjyoung) July 11, 2017
Hi Eddie, my question is….What's the air velocity of a swallow
— Hairy Angus (@HairyAngus) July 11, 2017
URGENT QUESTION – Eddie, would you rather have rollerblades for feet or chopsticks for hands for the rest of your life?
— Tom Cox (@comtox) July 11, 2017
Credit to Eddie, though. He went ahead and answered them.
100 duck-sized horses. A horse-sized duck would be pretty scary! You? ^Eddie
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
It has to be the chicken fajitas 😉 ^Eddie
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
Hi, it has to be a war monger. The fish monger at my nearest ASDA is amazing. ^Eddie
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
Hi, for an unladen swallow, it is 50-65mph.. #google ^Eddie
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
Rollerblades for feet, I feel like I would get used to them pretty quickly and be able to get places quicker! You? ^Eddie
— Southern (@SouthernRailUK) July 11, 2017
There was the occasional ‘real’ question…
https://twitter.com/MaxFassbrause/status/884780970670530560
Will Southern be meeting with Aslef to resolve the overtime ban?
Will there be any "meaningful talks" with the RMT over guard removal?
— Brian Whelan (@brianwhelanhack) July 11, 2017
Eddie answered them, but we’re not here to find out if Max could in fact break his journey at East Croydon. He could, incidentally. What a plot twist!
Sometimes it’s hard not to be cynical about these things, and the same thought popped into our head: there is no Eddie, and if there is, he’s not a work experience kid, he’s someone from marketing trying to improve the image of Southern Rail.
Someone else on the replies thought the same thing.
https://twitter.com/SimonSFranklin/status/884782389662289921
But why? Plenty of school kids are out on work experience right now, and there’s no reason why a sharp young man couldn’t give charming answers to politely strange questions.
If it turns out that Eddie is a fabrication and Southern Rail gets embroiled in a fake work experience scandal, we’ll just add it to the List Of Things That Actually Were Too Good To Be True, Sorry Everyone. But for now, we believe in Eddie, as did (most) everyone else on the feed.
Eddie, you've totally smashed this today – hope they'll give you a permanent job running the account.
— Rob (@LairyMilk) July 11, 2017
Good work Eddie.
— Brian Whelan (@brianwhelanhack) July 11, 2017
https://twitter.com/brownbare/status/884779786849202178
https://twitter.com/simonbattle007/status/884788219472216068
Still waiting to hear what Eddie thinks about this though:
https://twitter.com/Crashland89/status/884781325672230913
We’ll be waiting.