Where do you even start with this….
Children across the country are being urged by the government to sing a song celebrating “strong Britain, great nation” on June 25.
It will be part of One Britain One Nation Day, when children can apparently “learn about our shared values of tolerance, kindness, pride and respect.”
Despite being given a name that screams the exact opposite, the values and meaning behind the day sound like they are well-intended.
The department for education’s One Britain One Nation website says: “One Britain One Nation brings us together, not to focus on our differences but to celebrate the values we share: tolerance, kindness, pride, respect, and a tremendous desire to help others.
“Today’s Britain boasts a wonderful array of cultures. It is our multicultural identity that makes Britain so unique.
“Our diverse cultures are inextricably linked by the sole fact that we are British. It is this fact that has prompted OBON to reinforce and revive what collectively unites us.”
But just as you may be thinking ‘oh well that doesn’t sound so bad,’ give this song a listen.
“We are Britain and we have one dream.”
“To unite all people in one great team.”
“Strong Britain, Great nation.”
You can watch the government’s actual video for the song here.
When was the moment? When was the moment that we transitioned into some dystopian, Black Mirror hellscape? Because that certainly seems to be where we are now.
Remove the word ‘Britain’ from that song, and you could imagine it in a whole host of different environments. North Korea. The USSR. Fucking Panem.
You can picture it now. Children looking up to a picture of Boris Johnson, with the faces of Matt Hancock and Michael Gove either side, wearing blue ties and jackets as they give their daily thanks to the government.
Classes could learn about the heroic war against coronavirus in the year of 2020, with books written about the Herculean efforts of those in power to drag us through the dark days.
And then, as the clock strikes noon, pupils would stand and turn to a bust of Johnson, put one hand on their heart, and in unison sing the words now burnt onto their brains:
“We are Britain and we have one dream.”
