The mobile phone has gone from a communication device to the centre of our everyday lives.
The days of simply using the pocket tech for calling your mum or telling your partner that you’ve arrived safely are well and truly over. Now the little black screen is our portal to the rest of the world.
They are filofax, map, travel tickets, Walkman, pager, Gameboy, camera, DVD collection and even love life all rolled into one. No wonder we cherish our precious mobiles like solid slabs of pure gold.
But how do you know if you’re addicted to your phone? What are the signs you have a serious problem? The first step is to admit you may exhibit the following symptoms…
First thing in the morning and last thing at night…
There was a time when the first act upon waking from cosy slumber was to open the curtains to drink in another fine day, or perhaps turn to a loved one and plant a gentle kiss on their still snoozing faces.
Now it’s to hurriedly check for messages and catch up on Twitter. And it’s the same at night – we’ve lost count of the amount of times we’ve sleepily dropped our slim bricks on our faces at around 23:47.
You have a panic attack if you ever leave it somewhere
‘Keys…wallet…pass…right, that’s everythi…OH SHIT!’ On the rare occasions you might forget your phone upon leaving the house, there is simply no option but to run back and grab it, otherwise…*shudder*
It would mean no music, no Uber, no WhatsApp, no Tinder, no email and possibly worst of all, no internet during a loo break. What’s the point of going to work without any of the stuff that makes it bearable?
You hear imaginary rings or feel phantom vibrations
This is a huge sign that you’re barely functioning phone junkie. It’s bad enough that we’re constantly ‘on call’ with no real time to ourselves, without inventing imaginary alerts on top of the many genuine ones.
‘Phantom vibration syndrome’ is actually a thing. Researcher Dr Michelle Drouin of Indiana University found that almost 9 of 10 students experienced the phenomenon. Face it, you’re not that popular.
The constant and incessant checking every few minutes
Related to the above but even more annoying. Thinking your phone is buzzing away is one thing, wondering why it isn’t is quite another. Even a docile slab of technology calls you like the one ring to rule them all.
It’s not only that either. It’s the constant slapping off your thigh like an over-enthusiastic line dancer. Stop checking if your phone is there – that big rectangular-shaped outline in your trousers isn’t a weird boner.
Arthritic thumbs and claw fingers at the age of thirty
Remember when phones were designed to be ergonomic and easy for the average human-being to handle? Nowadays bigger is better, and that’s no good for hands that simply weren’t designed for ‘phablets’.
Trying to navigate 5.5″ screen with one hand is unfeasible, but that won’t stop us trying. Then we complain when our thumbs are sore from repetitive strain, and our hook hands can no longer hold a fork.
You get junkie sweats when the battery is below 20%
You can do everything in your power to keep your phone fully charged and restrict daily use to an absolute minimum, but the problem with bright retina-display screens is that they drink juice like a sweaty child.
That’s fine until the battery icon turns red and you full-on panic. Your life turns into a Hollywood thriller as you desperately rush around trying to find a charger like it’s a matter of life and death.
Your teeth start to itch when someone else is borrowing it
Back in the day, when someone asked to borrow your phone for a few minutes, it was no biggie. You’d have to pay a few pence for the cost of their call but what’s that between friends? Take as long as you like, mate.
No more. Now every second that your precious is in the hands of another is an unbearable ordeal. It all becomes very passive-aggressive. When you get angry at your kid after five minutes of Angry Birds, you know you’ve got a serious problem.
