*Looks at Green Day intently*
Folks, it’s been another strong month over on Twitter dot com with users outdoing themselves by producing some of the funniest tweets the world has ever seen.
We’re now entering a stage in Twitter’s prowess where its funniest users are going to take over. They’ll start by taking our jobs, then our blood platelets, then our dogs and finally our vinyl collections. There’s nothing that we can do. They are unstoppable. All we can do is watch.
Topics discussed on Twitter this month included the tragic passing of Jeremy Renner’s app, the flexibility of Quentin Tarantino’s name, the previously unknown savagery committed by apples unto their friends, cosmetic surgery and humble brags from Lizzo fans, among others.
Here’s 20 of the funniest tweets you might have missed this month, you heathen.
1.
https://twitter.com/CamGurrrl/status/1168476142136942592
2.
https://twitter.com/nsilverberg/status/1169029331491966976
3.
https://twitter.com/bigdupu/status/1169010155184447489
4.
https://twitter.com/Rauss_Mc/status/1169758050401554432
5.
❤️My dad came out of the coma he’s been in since his motorcycle accident 2 weeks ago.
💔Don’t know how to tell him the Jeremy Renner app is gone.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) September 8, 2019
6.
Who called it dry humping and not graze anatomy
— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) September 9, 2019
7.
it’s everyone’s favorite time of year: when my aunt publicly compares her marriage to 9/11 pic.twitter.com/gQKy1VWVJ4
— molly d 🙂 (@mollydeez) September 10, 2019
8.
I love it when you call me pic.twitter.com/uoImpNTOJE
— Dan Egg (@dan_egg) September 8, 2019
9.
— miccaeli ✍️ (@renegadeapostle) September 27, 2019
10.
Girls talking in the bathroom after one of them threw a drink in her ex boyfriends face https://t.co/wGr8HBHYTi
— Mat George (@matchu_chutrain) September 18, 2019
11.
Finally they’re making porn for my tastes. pic.twitter.com/NIKRrfT97y
— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) September 18, 2019
12.
did my mum text me this headline pic.twitter.com/n2jQkGL8LH
— katie spalding (@supermathskid) September 22, 2019
13.
https://twitter.com/KingFurey_/status/1170669232624979968
14.
look at this heartless cunt of an Apple skateboarding on his dead friend pic.twitter.com/6zgvwxqy3R
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) September 20, 2019
15.
what do flight attendants laugh about so much in their little section at the front of the plane, tell us your secret jokes you flying bastards
— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) September 23, 2019
16.
why’d they name that movie ‘rugrats in paris’ when they could have called it ‘non je ne rugrat rien’?
— cas says free palestine (@CrappyFumes) September 26, 2019
17.
https://twitter.com/HelloCullen/status/1178368688396726272
18.
Thinking about how the Dutch police arrested a bird for taking part in a robbery, put it in a jail cell with bread and water & when the media reported on it they put a little black bar over the face to protect its identity pic.twitter.com/2ly0zsoAw6
— Emma (@CampbellxEmma) September 29, 2019
19.
you know what beach boys yeah it would be fucking nice
— ★ Dumb Blondes Club ★ (@peaceandbruv) September 8, 2019
20.
https://twitter.com/mrjohndarby/status/1171596262606548992
