These are solid gold.
It’s been another strong month on Twitter, so I’d like to offer a hearty well done to all involved.
Topics discussed in April include John Krasinski’s unexpected banger of a movie ‘The Quiet Place’, what a map of the world sounds like on the piano, some exceptional cat names on offer from King Bob Mortimer, Counting Crows’ blatant shortcomings and a potential new name for Asda and Sainsbury’s merger.
Here’s 25 hilarious tweets that deserve your immediate attention.
1.
https://twitter.com/petertaggart/status/980383874063585280
2.
Little known fact about the Pope: he's an excellent skateboarder pic.twitter.com/FgdY5mRUt1
— Big Field Productions (@BigFieldProd) April 2, 2018
3.
What a name! pic.twitter.com/17EHgdzWaf
— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) April 3, 2018
4.
Just saw The Quiet Place with a theater full of people who would not survive The Quiet Place.
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) April 8, 2018
5.
Cos I'm a creep… pic.twitter.com/Qq6tCW3eFR
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) April 3, 2018
6.
The Queen: Philip… I'm stuck on today's crossword. Do you know which football team Sir Alex Ferguson managed?
Prince Philip: Man United?
The Queen: Yes, the man I knighted.
— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) April 11, 2018
7.
https://twitter.com/_coryrichardson/status/984905768599195648
8.
https://twitter.com/BoringEnormous/status/985485378458128384
9.
https://twitter.com/estheromd/status/986572792383537153
10.
https://twitter.com/karaweeks_/status/986306004894744576
11.
Oh My Fuckin God, I am dying.
Surely this guy has one Scottish friend who should have told him? pic.twitter.com/9A9wO8kynF— iRoy. (There's somebody wrong on the internet.) (@Roy_Isserlis) April 19, 2018
12.
me: hey baby
gf: hey 😉 go to ——> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it’s free
me: yeah i has a rough day at work
gf: hey 😉 go to ——> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it’s free
me: haha thanks u always make me feel better
gf: hey 😉 go to ——> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it’s free
me: love u too— Losing it (@prophethusband) April 19, 2018
13.
*while scrolling Facebook
I’m so glad Congress is going to make Facebook protect my data!
*clicks on “What Harry Potter character is your social security number?”
— The Cre Master (@Jmboyd58) April 11, 2018
14.
https://twitter.com/incogellen/status/988532867260088320
15.
Bless me father for I have sinned, I keep singing the bare naked ladies.
Priest: how long has it been since your last confession
Me: it's been…— Jarah Sones (@smallfatmonkey) April 17, 2018
16.
y’all thought january took forever and wanted it to speed up now look at us. did february and march even happen. april almost over. then it’s gonna be 2019. then we gon die.
— Nate Z (@NathanZed) April 24, 2018
17.
Y’all I was really out here looking for a new eyeliner and look at this review lmfaooo
She deadass took a picture in her neck brace I am deceased 😩 pic.twitter.com/j9jHjAei06— mewtwo wannabe (@guadalahari) April 24, 2018
18.
https://twitter.com/pullovergirl/status/988960224982781953
19.
CAT NAME SPRING CLEAR OUT:
Ronnie omelettes
Gary from admin
Lidl Wayne
Aldi Best
Cedric latenights
Broccoli Highkicks
Sirius Cockhopper
Bubbles McParty
Mr Several Businesses£8.00 p.a.
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) April 26, 2018
20.
mom said you had to let me use the xbox pic.twitter.com/jwBf2AEf1Q
— ✧ (@northstardoll) April 1, 2018
21.
https://twitter.com/jpbrammer/status/989936345698258944
22.
Did Counting Crows ever give us a total number of crows
— donni saphire (@donni) April 28, 2018
23.
I’m begging Dude, please don’t take my man. pic.twitter.com/vlZf4AtCW4
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) April 27, 2018
24.
https://twitter.com/imgonnatakeanap/status/989662081627570177
25.
https://twitter.com/Scott_W88/status/990214585306304512
