May the 31st be with you
Hard to believe another calendar month has elapsed since the last instalment of ‘funniest tweets you might have missed’ but here we are. The onward marching of time waits for no man.
May was a strong month for content, with Twitter users covering such important topics as renaming golf, life-threatening French translations, Jamie Oliver’s demise, Cher’s decision to drop her controversial surname and many more besides that.
As we’ve learned, it’s impossible to see all things at all times. It’s understandable that some of this month’s dankest tweets may have slipped through your precious little attention span. Not to worry, we got you.
Here’s 25 of the funniest tweets you might’ve missed in May, you absolute heathen.
1.
https://twitter.com/jaboukie/status/1123594334144749570
2.
Your circus name is
your first name + your surname
that’s it. you’re a clown.
— smol boi zaa (@ZahraDee) May 1, 2019
3.
— chan (@chanbanhi) May 2, 2019
4.
accidentally opened my eyes during prayer at church and saw jesus doing the worm
— andrew (@AndrewChamings) May 1, 2019
5.
Petition to rename mini golf to just “golf” and golf to “large golf”
— Cat Graffam (@catgraffam) May 5, 2019
6.
— will (@fuckmarrywill) May 6, 2019
7.
Apologies in advance pic.twitter.com/hdceyV5b5H
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) May 12, 2019
8.
https://twitter.com/alexeImsIie/status/1128714948480262150
9.
Does anyone speak French? Please, my family is starving. pic.twitter.com/pKNi7GbawA
— ♥mark magark♥ (@markedly) May 17, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/The_LogLady/status/1129282592350642176
11.
Me when I’m on the phone to my friend Colin and the receptions bad: pic.twitter.com/D5ZoBQp9Sr
— Paul Black (@paulbIack) May 17, 2019
12.
https://twitter.com/notviking/status/1130276487255404544
13.
Jamie Oliver's restaurants go into adminestrone
— Milton Jones (@themiltonjones) May 21, 2019
14.
What a quote. pic.twitter.com/9BJGsd2aoZ
— Stiabhaí Nics (@stephie08) May 21, 2019
15.
Funeral sandwiches be hittin different
— Stephen (@Stephenlough95) May 22, 2019
16.
Me when my alarm goes off pic.twitter.com/NodaGuBNzf
— Rach (@RachaelvsWorld) May 22, 2019
17.
Theresa May will resign next month to make way for her successor Theresa June.
— Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) May 24, 2019
18.
https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/1132818881167314944
19.
Cher is married to West Ham footballer Mark Noble and that’s why she just uses her first name
— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) May 27, 2019
20.
https://twitter.com/helen/status/1133956352072511488
21.
therapist: HI
me: [screams]
therapist:
me: I'm terrified of state abbreviations
therapist: OH OK
me: [screaming intensifies]
— Joe Biden Press Release (Parody) (@joebldenpress) May 28, 2019
22.
https://twitter.com/killyridolz/status/1125431764875448322
23.
please. my wife. she fell off a cliff. pic.twitter.com/bAhfIG7q1d
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) May 26, 2019
24.
https://twitter.com/Integrity_Guy/status/1131579848269320192
25.
When somebody you barely know is leaving at work and somebody asks you to sign their card pic.twitter.com/Z7gYDotB6M
— burgey (@burgey_96) March 22, 2019
Check out previous months here:
