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31st Oct 2020

The nation reacts to Boris Johnson’s delayed Lockdown 2 press conference

JOE

Lockdown 2.0 is imminent

Finally, then, England now has a clearer picture on how the month ahead will look (or does it?), thanks to some graphs. Lots and lots of graphs, actually. So many graphs that, when we eventually close our eyes tonight, we will still see graphs on the back of eyelids.

After Friday night’s leak that Lockdown 2.0 is imminent, Boris Johnson confirmed as much in his Saturday afternoon evening press conference from Downing Street.

*serious voice*

The new measures will see non-essential retail and hospitality close but, unlike the first lockdown in the spring, schools, colleges and universities will be permitted to remain open.

Travel has also been restricted to essential trips only. You may only leave home for work, medical reasons or essential travel.

In short, the prime minister said you can only leave your house for the following:

  • for education
  • for work, if you cannot work from home
  • for exercise and recreation outdoors
  • for medical reasons
  • to shop for food and essentials
  • to care for others

The restrictions are to begin on Thursday, ending on December 2nd.

*serious voice ends*

Initial reports had claimed the press conference would begin at 4pm, only for it to be swiftly be put back to 5… then 6:30. No idea what time it actually started in the end, to be honest.

The irony of the big announcement being delayed wasn’t lost on many…

With multiple delays at least keeping some entertained…

https://twitter.com/AsifUllah22/status/1322599986744492034

But hey, as serious as all this might seem, at least the PM knew the *real* priority – wrapping things up in time for Strictly Come Dancing

Then came the graph chat. Lots and lots of graph chat.

Inevitably, Chad Kroeger memes were everywhere…

https://twitter.com/RiZzyUTD/status/1322623378143039495

Others pondered why the government didn’t just give Marcelo Bielsa a bell to simplify things…

https://twitter.com/gregianjohnson/status/1322614021351198720

Because… well, look at the state of this…

AND…

https://twitter.com/robbeckettcomic/status/1322611993526882305

!

Still. At least everyone has a decent idea of what to dress as next Halloween. Assuming Lockdown 3.0 or 4.0 isn’t in full swing by then…

https://twitter.com/MarinaHyde/status/1322614679349460992