Stick to bending spoons, mate
Brexit, and as a result the United Kingdom, is at something of an impasse. Over the last few weeks we have had Theresa May’s Brexit deal being rejected by Parliament, and the European Union accepting her request for an extension to Brexit.
Britain will receive a short extension if Parliament accepts her Brexit deal, but now it has emerged that all of this may be in vain, after an intervention from Uri Geller.
The man who can bend spoons and was once a friend of Michael Jackson has written a letter, handed exclusively to the Jewish Telegraph, to the prime minister, stating that he will not allow her to go through with Brexit.
How will he stop this? Telepathically, apparently, because Geller “psychically” feels very strongly that the “British people do not want Brexit”.
“I love you very much but I will not allow you to lead Britain into Brexit,” says Geller, after revealing that he had predicted she would become prime minister when he showed her “Winston Churchill’s spoon” on his Cadillac, which he asked her “to touch”.
“As much as I admire you, I will stop you telepathically from doing this – and believe me I am capable of executing it.”
Geller also urged the PM to cancel Brexit altogether by revoking Article 50.
“Before I take this drastic course of action, I appeal to you to stop the process immediately while you still have a chance,” he said.
BREAKING: @TheUriGeller has today written a letter, handed exclusively to the Jewish Telegraph, to @theresa_may to state that he will "not allow you to lead Britain into #Brexit". pic.twitter.com/IIkPL2Z9g7
— Jewish Telegraph | e-edition.jewishtelegraph.com (@JewishTelegraph) March 22, 2019
Will this work? Of course it fucking won’t. The man bends spoons and was a friend of Michael Jackson. End of.
